[Faraboverubies]

This past year I switched to a private Christian Baptist school. Me and this guy became friends (he is very shy; it took forever to become his friend) and would talk at school. We are both church kids and if we showed that we liked each other, it would be a big deal, so we rarely talk at church. He has never had a girlfriend. So he basically has no experience with girls.
The school year just ended and we’ve been texting over the summer. One night things got pretty heated and we were talking about having sex together. After, he told me that he likes me (he said he liked me since school started) and I told him I liked him too. Next day, he says he felt so bad guilty for “disrespecting” me. Him and I are both Christians btw. I said we just won’t let that happen again. So on Sunday we had church and he wouldn’t come up and talk to me and I was upset with him because I felt that he should come up and talk to me now that we both like each other. So he texted me and apologized and said he was sorry for not talking to me. He said that he was a wussy and that I deserve to be with a real man who can make me happy. I said I’ll be patient with him and I appreciate the apology. He kept saying how he’s scared, not ready for this, never done this before, and many “idk”s. I told him it’s fine; we can take it slow. He said he wanted to go to sleep. So I said okay when will you text me again. He said “idk”. So it’s been two days and I’m wandering, should I text him? Or should I wait for him? (FYI: I am 17 and he will be 17 in two weeks)

[MSU0021]

You should absolutely text him! Sounds like me when I was younger…. you find a girl you like, you say and/or do something you regret, and it upsets the person you like… It’s sounds like he may lack some confidence considering his and your inexperience. There’s nothing wrong with shwing someone you care. Reach out to him. He’ll appreciate it, and you’ll feel better.

[Faraboverubies]

But if I text do you think he might become too overwhelmed and then just give up on everything? 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should back off and not run the risk of being pushy. He’s 17 years old and he’s told you he’s new to dating, is feeling uncertain, and he kind of backed off on his own. Instead of texting him, wait until you see him and be your cheerful, flirty self. 😎 Let him take the lead — he’ll feel better about himself and any relationship that results, if he’s the one who does the chasing. Guys love to feel like they chased and won and if you take that away from him by doing the chasing yourself, he’s not going to be as happy about things as if you back off and let him lead. 😉

[Member]

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