[Robinson22]

Hi April 🙂

I need urgent advice 🙁 Me and my ex have been out for 8 months, but we were together for 2years, and i really love this guy with all my heart, but things did not go as planned, he cheated 3 times and left me because of the fighting. ( cheating was kissing one girl in his car and the other just smsing them he wants to kiss them.) i must add, he is younger than me so he was more on the childish side still. But ok, we still worked together so for that 8 months we were still in each others company. I tried to win him back but that didnt work. Then i decided i had enough and left my job and started some place new. Thats when i met the other guy, really the sweetest guy and so romantic which im not used to. We have been together for 2 months. I keep feeling im not giving it 100%, like i dont want it to work?? He is also a very jealous guy, i cant talk to another guy friend on my phone then he gets upset, same with certain things in the house that i want. I just care for our safety so thats why i am like i am, ive been in 3 car accidents so im a bit more nervous than usual, so i tend to say watch out for some things, not in a bad way, just caring 😕 We have been fighting this whole week 🙁 i hate it! every fight he must shift it onto himself and says how bad he is and failure etc etc…and he keeps on running away instead of facing the problems and solving it.

With my ex wanting me back, i kind of miss everything we had, but i know it wont work, so thats not my issue(i think, you can see im very confused 🙁 ) my ex said he has grown up since i made the decision to go and he has made a decision to be everything that i want because he now know what he has lost…but with the new guy he also wants us to really work, and we are both pilots, but grrr we fight so so much 🙁

What is your opinion about my situation? What must i do? I really have no no clue 🙁

Kind regards
Me

[AskApril Masini]

You’re confusing yourself and you don’t have to. 😕 It sounds like the break up with your ex-boyfriend is in the past and you’re clear that that break up was for a good reason. So just stop talking about him. 😉 You’re confusing yourself by continuing to bring him up. Let go of what you no longer need in your life. You’ll also find that by doing so, you won’t feel so confused. 😉

As for this new guy, it sounds like you want to stop the fighting. Good idea! 😉 Here are a couple of ways to help you. First, recognize that you’ve only been dating for two months — and you’re trying to turn this into something it may not be. Stop trying to make this be “the” relationship and instead, understand that the first three months of dating ANYONE is the time period you should use to get to know that person and see if you want to continue seeing him. This is not a time when either one of you should be committed, so loosen up and sit back and relax a little more. Figure out who he is and who you are with him, and if you want to continue dating him — and he is probably doing the same!

Next, figure out what you’re fighting about. If he’s controlling — and not just jealous — then that’s probably a flashing yellow light that he’s not going to be your Mr. Right. The same goes with the issues you mentioned about your home. On the other hand, if you’re being rude by talking to people during dates, when you could just as easily spend your date time focusing on him, then just don’t take phone calls when you’re with him and try to mind your phone manners a little more. 😉

I hope this helps!

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