[stiffman]

Hi, I just have a few questions of being a secret admirer. Do people still do that these days? What about people my age? I’m 23 and she’s 22 or 23. We work at the same place in different departments. we see each other often and we met a few months ago. Now when I said we met we didn’t speak to each other, the person she works for said “This is my assistant (her name).” So she knows I know her name and I assume she knows mine cause it’s on my uniform. Now I’ve never done the secret admirer and want to try it for something different and see how it goes. I know where her office is but I don’t think she knows that I know, so I don’t know if that will freak her out or not. Not sure what I can do to make a good impression and keep it romantic and fun. Now I have an opportunity to send her a gift. The company is selling roses and candy for valentines day to be delivered to whomever. I wanted to order a half dozen roses with a bag of sweets with a personal message. What could I write to her without sounding like a stalker? How should I sign the note? (my name) from maintenance. Your secret admirer. Guess who. Just some options I thought off. Your expertise is appreciated.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think your instincts are very romantic, and you should follow them. 😉 Send her the Valentine’s Day gift and consider some of these phrases for your note: “Your smile makes coming to work the best part of my day!” or “You’re the prettiest woman in this entire building, possibly the world!” You can probably come up with something better, but these are just jumping off points for you to use. Then, you can either sign the card, from a secret admirer, or you can sign your name. Or, if you want to be really playful, you can ask her to meet you for brunch on Sunday at 1 a.m. at a particular place, and reveal your identity to her then.

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[stiffman]

I’m definitely going to do this! I’m still debating is I want to reveal myself or stay anonymous for the time being. If I reveal myself she will know or possibly know who I am. Will she come to me and thank me for the gift? Or should I go to her? If I remain anonymous what clues could I give her to figure out it is me? Thank you!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Consider what your reasons for remaining anonymous are. If you’re wanting to be anonymous as a romantic gesture, I’m two thumbs up. But if you’re simply fearful of rejection, I think you’re just putting off the inevitable. If you do sign your name, it’s her move to thank you — you shouldn’t go to her. But if she does, then you should invite her to go out, when she does. 😉

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[stiffman]

You said I could come up with a better message. How’s this? It’s more of a poem. “Roses are red, violets are blue, if you go out with me you’ll like me too.”

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s great! 😀

[stiffman]

Hey April I sent her the roses and I know she got them. She walked by me today and didn’t say anything. I signed the message with only my first name. I dont know if she even knows my name but I thought she would since its on my uniform. So what Can I do as a follow up to get her to realize that im the man who likes her?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s time to come out of hiding and tell her you’re the guy behind the roses. She really may not know that they’re from you since you only used your first name. But if she does, and she’s not interested in dating you, it’s a good idea to find that out now. Go say hello to her and tell her you’re the guy. 😉

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[stiffman]

Hey April I wanted to touch base with you because I made a mistake with my last post. I over exaggerated. I said she didn’t talk to me but really I don’t think she saw me. She was walking to the food court while texting and I was sitting at a table assuming she saw me. What I do know is I went in her office early this morning to see if she kept the roses or threw them away. She unwrapped the roses put them in a fancy vase and leaned my message to her on it. The bag of candies she also put in a fancy jar. So it seems to me I made an impression on her. So with that said, what is the best approach for a follow up? Write a message and place it on her desk? Or, physically visit her at her office? Or, wait till we cross paths, which we will at some point, and talk to her?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The question that would help me help you is: Why, when you saw the roses on her desk in a special vase, and the candies in her office in a special dish, you didn’t go over and talk to her? I’m curious. Is there something you’re waiting for in order to ask her out on a date? Let me know, and I’ll advise you further. Your answers will help me help you. 😉

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