[dollface]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years. I recently started working about two months ago. There’s a guy at work that I have a little crush on, and its gotten to the point where I even think about him sometimes with my boyfriend. I’m going to put this into two separate parts, one where I’m talking about the guy at work and about the situation with my boyfriend…

I know my boyfriend loves me, but he has definitely messed up before. He cheated on me and got the girl pregnant and now has a 1 year old son. He kept the truth from me for almost a year before I found out. He did man up and tell me and talk to me and I forgave him, but there’s always the hurt. He doesn’t talk to or contact the mother of his child in any way unless to talk about his son. This is what makes me second guess our relationship in the first place. I have thought about what it would be like without my boyfriend, and I know for a fact I will be hurting and thinking of him and our memories, nicknames, all the times we spend together…as he is my first boyfriend. 😥

The huge problem is I’m not completely sure if the guy at work likes me, but then again he can’t give me too many signs because I told him almost right away about my boyfriend. When I told him though he interrupted me saying ‘Wait, did you just say boyfriend?’ There’s times where hes pretty mean to me, and once I said you don’t like me and he said, ‘I do like you, that’s why I give you a hard time’. But he said it so fast that I wasn’t sure what he meant by ‘like’. I remember one girl saying at work that hes the nicest, and I was so confused. She said its because he doesn’t care about her, that’s why hes nice to her. He’ll be mean to me and later come back and say I’m not mad at you. 🙄 Also, he has this girl he seems to flirt with but when he put his arm around her this one time when I was behind him, he turned his head around to look at me. 😕 Then there’s weird little behaviors, like he sometimes says to me about a customer, wow she’s hot, but he wont actually talk to the girl. Hes asked me twice about ‘how me and my boyfriend are doing’, or ‘how’s the boyfriend’. He’ll just pop up with the question, and not really respond to or care about my answer.

I’m wondering if this is some immature crush and I shouldn’t even bother…

[Ask April Masini]

First of all, the crush on the other guy isn’t going anywhere as long as you’re involved with your four year boyfriend. So, decide if you want to stay with him or not before you start looking for a new guy to date. If you’re not fully available, you’re not going to know what’s out there! 🙂

It sounds like you’re afraid to be alone, so you’re staying with a guy who cheated on you, had unprotected sex, and now has fathered a son — while he was dating you — and didn’t tell you for an entire year. 😳 Part of you wants to move on, but you’re afraid to be alone, so you won’t unless you know you have another boyfriend lined up — and in order to do so, you’re sort of settling for someone who may be available to fill the spot in case you do break up! 😕

You’re either scared of being alone, lazy or a combination of both. My advice is you deal with those problems so you correct the part of you that allows you to stay with a guy for four years when you’re not sure he’s the one, and that keeps you from really dating smart.

You should read, Think & Date Like A Man, [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. You need it! You can also buy the book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble websites.

Read the book — and if you do write again, please remember to include the ages of everyone you’re talking about!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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