[Samantha]

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We don’t really have problems, we get along in everything, and I can honestly say that our relationship is not toxic. He’s 32 years old, and I’m 28. Our parents always ask us when we’re finally going to get married. Right now, we still don’t live together. I still live with my parents, while he rents his own apartment. I can’t bring myself to ask him about his plans for marriage because I’m a woman, and for me, he should be the one to bring up that topic since he’s the man. I already want us to live together in one house, build a life like a married couple, and start planning for our future, but I’m waiting for him to initiate that. We both have jobs and don’t really have other obligations to worry about. So why is it like this? What does it mean when he takes a long time to commit?

[Camille Kay]

About marriage, yes, you’re right—he should be the one to initiate that. But when it comes to settling down, planning the future, and living together in one house, both of you should be making that decision together. So it would be better if you bring it up with him so you can plan and talk about it properly.

If he is not yet committed, there’s nothing you can really do about that. Then it’s up to you what your next step will be—whether you continue or you wait for him to become committed.

[Gerald04947]

It’s better if you open up to him about marriage, especially if that’s what you also want. That way, you can find out what his real plans are or if he even has plans at all.

After five years together, you’re probably already very comfortable with each other, so there’s nothing wrong with bringing up the topic of marriage. It’s important to be open with one another.

It’s hard when you’re already thinking about something like this but you don’t say it out loud—sometimes that leads to bigger problems later on. It would be a waste of the relationship you’ve built as a couple.

[Member]

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