[lilylilylily]

3 months ago I have met a guy on tinder, I have never used the app before and we got matched within 1 hour. I didn’t take it very seriously and I wasn’t interested in finding a relationship ( I had my final exams in front of me and I was leaving overseas to go to university in 6 months at the time) So we went out for couple of dates ( he is 4 years older, a graduate student who is on his first project in my city at the time for 2 months) after being together we figured we have so much in common and he has told me that he hasnt liked someone that much in the amount of time we are together (hobbies. morals, future and sparks are huge) I didn’t expect any of this. Its been going really well for 3 months, he was suppose to leave but the project is going on for another 3 months ( therefore the same time Im leaving to university). Once his projects finishes he is planning to move back before the company sends him to another one that can be anywhere. He told me couple of times that he was always thinking of moving the the counry im going to go to university and that maybe he will do it in the future.

We are dating and both agreed on not seeing other people, we text daily and he always makes sure to asks how my day is doing and we try to see each other 2-3 times per week depending on our time shedule. We thught we are perfect for each other cause we are here for the same amount of day and we started as a comnanionship type of relationship
But something has changed in my and I think im having feelings for him. I have left him and came home crying already couple of times and I dont like the feeling, so I tried in my head being more casual about it and thought about telling him and suggest meeting other people (which I know would help me to get a big over him but it will hurt are relationship) – I know for him its perfect, his priority is his work and he loves taking me out for dinner and loves my positive personality.

I know we are in different places in our lives and I have never met a guy like him. However I feel that he is taking it more casual as we started ( he told some of his colleagues that he is seeing someone, but we don’t refer to each other as girlfriend and boyfriend). We have an amazing connection and I know he really likes me but it hurts when I realize that it does not have a future and that maybe Im just making all this potentially up! HELP please

My priority is school right now as well and my career, but I cant help these feeling im having and I dont know what should I do about it. Should I just face the truth and end it with him? or have a talk? or tell him that I need to see other people in order to move on? Or should I take a step and take him what I feel ?

Please help me, it would meen a lot 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Should I just face the truth and end it with him? [/quote]

I’m a little confused…. what “truth” are you talking about? You’ve been dating someone for three months, and you like him. Why end it?

[quote]or have a talk? [/quote]

What kind of talk are you suggesting?

[quote]or tell him that I need to see other people in order to move on? [/quote]

If you tell him that you need to see other people, he’s going to do the same. Make sure that that is really what you want before doing it. And also, understand that seeing other people, while continuing to date him, isn’t going to help you move on, given your feelings. If you really want to move on, then a straight break will be more helpful.

[quote]Or should I take a step and take him what I feel ?[/quote]

I don’t recommend telling him what you feel. It sounds like you don’t like the feeling of connection to him. I don’t know how old you are — please mention this when you write again — but you have to understand that when you date someone, are monogamous, and are having sex with them, and things are going well, you’re going to feel more connected to that person, in general. That’s how most people are in relationships. 😉

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[lilylilylily]

Thank you so much for your answer. We are dating however im leaving in July to go to university to another country ( Im 18 years old) and he is moving back to England ( he is 23) we talked about it that if we would live in the same country we would give a relationship a try however that is not possible right now. When we met I thought he was going to be in town for 2 months so I thought it will be very casul ( but we are both suprisied how good of a couple we make ) however now we are going to be “together” for half year ( till July) which is pretty long time and I dont want to get my heart broken at the end but I dont know what to do now.

Not sure if I should end it completley, although I love spending time with him ( he is very caring and kind but we both have our priorities). Or should I just try to take it more casul and remind my self its only for couple more months ( which is very hard for me to be honest)

Thank you so much 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What you have learned about yourself is that casual dating, with sex, and learning that you really like the person you’ve been doing the previous two with, is going to lead to stronger feelings. For future, if you really want to date casually, you should play the field, which means dating other people at the same time. When you’re seeing only one person, sleeping with them, and you start liking them, things like their leaving the country are going to become an issue! But that’s for future. For now, you have to decide which is easier for you — ending it now, or continuing to date and breaking up when he leaves. I don’t think you can easily dial it down for the next two months. And for future dating, take what you’ve learned about yourself here, and consider dating guys who are going to live in your area for more than a few months. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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