[Jesseb]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for almost a year now and I am madly in love. I see a future with him and we have talked about future plans together as a couple. We recently got into a huge argument, that really was just minor issues blowing up into one big issue. There is a five year age difference between us with me being younger, but he has never had an issue with it before. He claims he is ready to settle down and I have told him so many times that I was ready when he was. He befriended a girl that works at his gym, who is beautiful by the way, and I know that they text constantly. She has a lot of health issues and claims to not know many people in the state or have many family members. I feel as though she is relying on my boyfriend for help when she needs it and she knows he is in a relationship. He has gotten to the point where he is somewhat secretive with his phone and this worries me. He tells me they are just friends and nothing more. He apologizes for the way our huge fight we had and tells me he loves me all the time and shows me a great deal of affection. He still talks about future plans with me and sees what I’ve always seen as a great future together. But I sometimes have a feeling in my gut that there is something more even though he says there isn’t. I feel that maybe this girl is getting in the way of our relationship, I really hope he’s not cheating either 🙁 how do I go about this, how should I confront him or should I, where do I go from here. Please help

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The reality is that dating is competitive, and while you’ve been with your boyfriend for a year, and you feel that there’s a commitment there, he’s interested, at least on some level, in this other woman. Rather than confront him, or give him an ultimatum, my advice is that you focus on the real issue here — that you’ve got competition! 😉 Don’t turn a molehill into a mountain, and instead, compete for him. Be the girlfriend who gets him to forget her. Win him over. Instead of worrying about whether or not he’s cheating, make sure that the relationship you have with him is so well tended that he doesn’t want to cheat. 😉

I hope that helps.

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