So.. Here’s how the song goes.
I had been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years. When it started out we were very in love with each other; we had made plans for the future, we wanted to get married one day once we were both out of college.
Lately, copious amounts of drama amid all our lifelong friends (none having to do with us, thankfully) and the struggle of life, itself has left me, personally, feeling completely crumbled. This fear of losing more people I care about has made me really hesitant to love anyone past a certain point because I’m scared I’ll lose them too once I do. I know I “shouldn’t let fear rule my life”, and all that jazz but the fact is that this is how it is right now and that’s a whole ‘nother conversation..
Anyway, long story short, I don’t know if its this fear eating away at my love for my boyfriend or the simple possibility that I’m just not “feeling it” anymore. He treats me like a queen and adores me (miraculously) and I know that its a very rare possibility for me to find someone else who loves me that much.. Though, I have been talking (friendly chit chat) to a few other guys over the course of this time that somehow get my heart pounding. I don’t want to lead him on if that relationship’s just done with and I don’t want to be stuck with someone forever whom I have very little romantic feelings towards; but at the same time, I don’t want to make a mistake by giving up something that I obviously should be happy with, past my own current struggles.
We are currently on a “break”.
For the first time in my life, I utterly do not know what to do.. What is “selfish” and what is “unselfish”? So, I ask you, please. What do you think is the “right thing” in this predicament?
