Hello all, I’m new to these forums so first of all I would like to say hello.
Ok so here’s the situation, me and my ex have been on and off for about 6 months now. Me and him had a pretty good relationship up until the time we both lost our jobs, we started fighting more and eventually broke up, after not talking for a while he reached out to me and we spent time together, the problem however was our time was always cut short because he was now self-employed and would say there was something he had to get done and I had to leave. This always upset me and made me feel like I didn’t matter to him, so I would get an attitude and that lead to him not wanting to talk to me anymore. A few more months past and we started talking again and spending time together and again it was ok but I would get upset that I didn’t feel like things were ever going to go anywhere so I got angry at him and again he pushed me away.
We are currently talking again, and of course again I feel uneasy about where things are going to go. I addressed it with him and asked him if we were going to work on being in a relationship again, to which he replied he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone, he has to many things to focus on.
He is self-employed, and no doubt is busy and also lives an hour away so its not like he can just stop over for a few minutes, but I’ve had people tell me if someone really wants to be with you they are never too busy for you. Is that true, is he using too busy as an excuse to not commit to me?
What confuses me is that he always tells me he misses me and despite being busy he does make time to see me. It seems like he still does have feelings for me.
I worry sometimes he is just using me for a hookup, but at the same time after going our separate ways 3 different times and the fact he has to drive an hour to see me, I don’t think he would still be around if I was just for a hookup.
I think I scare him off when I start to talk about working towards being in a relationship again, but I bring it up because I fear he will never commit to me if I make it seem like I’m ok with seeing each other without eventually knowing we will be exclusive.
I guess the advice I’m looking for is, if I continue to see him without bringing up relationships and anything heavy, and just focus on being a fun person to be around and text with, will time and patience bring us together again?
