[LiveNloveLife]

I absolutely agree with you that I went off the deep end. It’s the first time in our 9 year relationship that I have done anything close to like this or even question her honesty. I actually recognized this myself before you even told me and have already discussed it with my girlfriend a couple weeks ago and apologized for the stupid crazy way I handled the situation.

I am battling depression and major anxiety issues lately before this happened and the timing of this just couldn’t have been any worse 🙁 I was acting out of my normal character and that bothers me a lot. When this happened I just felt like my whole world, everything I ever dreamed for us came crashing to an end. I disagree though, other than during this last situation that happened, I am without a doubt at my best self when I am with her, I’m on top of the world when I’m with her, she’s all I need in this life to make me happy.

Now that things have calmed down a bit and my depression and anxiety have let up a bit I see things a little differently. I feel like I want to forget the whole thing that happened and work on ourselves and our relationship instead.

We both think that we’re perfect for each other, we both think that we have something really special that is hard to find in other relationships, we just connect so well, and we both consider each as best friends (even though we both have many friends) We have said this to each other many times. We argued maybe 5 times in our 9 years and none of them were even serious, usually over stupid things, and all were resolved quickly.

I was just so hurt by her lies because I never ever questioned her honesty before and thought she was my one person I could absolutely trust with anything. Coupled with my depression and anxiety it just absolutely crushed me because we’ve never lied to each other before and that was just so special to me. But taking a step back now I can understand how her fear issues could have driven her to lie to me and am willing to do anything to help her with this. There is one more issue in our relationship that is more serious than the rest and that is her health. She has some major health issues which I think led her to develop her fears. She thinks she will die in the next few years and that just breaks my heart. Her health is a big reason for my depression and anxiety, I just feel so helpless and want to make it all better for her. I want to do anything to help her with her health issues and her fear issues.

I love this girl so much I want to do anything to make this work. I have already spotted things in my life that need to be changed and am starting to work on them. She has started seeing a psychiatrist for her fear/lack of confidence issues and I will be doing the same. Prior to this I was planning on proposing to her this summer at our 10 year anniversary as I really do want to spend the rest of my life with her. I really want to fight for this relationship, I cant possibly give up this easy.

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