[JANZ]

I think you might be throwing out the baby with the bath water here. Just because you are not 100% in sync with one another doesn’t mean you couldn’t have a wonderful life together. The first thing to do (maybe you already have) is make a good & bad list, good being everything you love about the guy and your relationship, bad being those things that annoy you, are really bad and maybe the things you think would annoy him if you brought them up. I’m guessing the good list is going to be really long and the “bad” list will be minimal. The “bad” list is what you want to talk to him about first before you break up with him because they may be the result of mixed signals, or those things you want to do but your not sure he’d be cool with. Maybe he’d be alright with some of those things and you can move those over to the “good” column. Just make sure when your talking to him that you’re really watching his face, eyes, & body language so you can tell how truthful he’s really being.
My husband and I got married at 20 & 21 and are celebrating our 40th anniv this May. We are probably the opposite of you two – I’m the shy, quiet type that likes to stay home and he’s the kind of guy that can walk into a room of strangers and walk out with a room full of friends. We’ve had our ups & downs but we went into our marriage making divorce not an option. So many these days introduce their mates as “my first wife or my first husband” – that does NOT make for a committed relationship! If that’s your attitude from the get-go, forget it – you are doomed to fail because you will not put forth the effort needed to smooth over the rough spots. Your effort will be put to finding #2!

Just because you’re only in your early 20’s, he sounds like he could be a good match for you and I’d hate to see you throw him away on a whim or a misconception that he wouldn’t support your adventurous side. As long as there’s no drug, alcohol, or emotional or physical abuse in the mix (which can be cause for bailing), I’d say start those lists (and he should do it too), so you can see in black & white how ‘perfect’ (which it will NEVER be) you are for each other. At the very least you’ll be talking and may come to a break-up decision together – or you could have a ring on your finger and a happy life ahead! I wish you much luck, love, & happiness.[/color][/color]

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