[ilovemakeup83]

Dear April,
I am 27 years old and my boyfriend is 32 years old. The guy that has been stalking me at my house I have talked to my parents about it and told them tell me and to also tell him to go away not to come back. I do want a commitment from my relationship with my boyfriend but right now he is not the position to purpose to me not financially anyways he doesn’t work because he got laid off last year. He also told me he is waiting to get a job first and get his pharmacy technician license. I know he is not normally that kind of person to resort to cheating he is usually very loving and caring I just think he is hurt. I actually can’t blame him for being hurt I do take full responsibility for cheating on and I want him to understand that. Also I have asked him if I can move with him and he said I can move in with him anytime I want to. To be honest with you I would like to move in him if he had his own house or his own apartment. But that fact that he lives with disrespectful roommates in his house that are also rude. They are my age but the difference is that they like to drink and get drunk and play very loud music we are not really used to that. especially since the fact that they used to help clean house but then all of a sudden stopped because my boyfriend got into a fight with his niece about how I was staying there too much. I really don’t know what her problem was cause I always help clean the kitchen and living room even though didn’t really live there. I didn’t really do it for them I did it cause I’m type of person who loves to help her loved ones like my boyfriend. So his niece suggested that if I was going to stay there like 5 day out of the week I would have to pay rent and utilities even if I didn’t live there. I got was shocked to hear this but I was like love spending with my boyfriend so I guess I could pay rent. The thing I don’t really like is that even though I stayed there I felt that my boyfriend should said some say in my paying rent. Like the fact that the house is not only half her house but his also but she didn’t take that into consideration she never does she treats us if were tenants. When the fact of the matter is my boyfriend actually has the his name in the house too. I have also been staying with him every weekend and go home on 3 days later this situation is alright for now. Because I have a doctor at my mental health hospital who I usually see for medication. I have bipolar disorder and am currently being treated for depression so I have to stay in the city I live in until I can make the decision to move out of my parents house. Not only that I have lot of nieces and nephews I spend time with and I don’t have a car so they usually visit me and since I am not taking any classes and looking into going back to school I sometimes take care of my nephews and nieces. Right now would be a good time to move out anyways my sister and her kids are moving to another city down south so I want to spend as much time with them as possible. Also he says he will stop doing what he is done like going on the internet and looking for trashy girls. As long as I can prove to him I actually care about him and be faithful and honest with him. He says he wants to see with his own eyes I haven’t cheat on him since then and being focusing on being a better girlfriend and knowing that if I want things to change I have to change first. It’s like he’s punishing me for cheating only one time. But the fact of the matter is I am truly sorry about it and am showing remorse over what I’ve done. But with him forgiveness doesn’t come easy so I guess I have to earn his trust back. I told him that even though he’s doing what he is doing I forgive him. It’s just because I am a very religious and he is not really. But he tell me if everything works outs we will be able to get married and have kids. I hope so but if I do find out he’s bringing girls over too his house or accidently gives me a STD then that’s it. It will be over. Because I have done what asked me too do stay on my birth control pills so right now I am watching him very carefully when I stay at his house so far things have been good between us we don’t fight as much as we used to and I told him we need to make comprises in our relationship make it give and take. Because if I am going to give 100% he has to do they same for me. I see where this relationship goes for right now just not ready to give up on it. When we both still love each other very much and want a future with each other I hope you don’t think that is wrong. It’s just that after 8 years of dedicating myself to this relationship I can’t give up. It may sound like young love but I know what we have is much stronger than that he has done things for me no man has ever done which make me love so much more I just have to be positive and have faith in our love. I just also wanted to add that I think want your doing is a wonderful thing helping all these people with advice I really would like to thank you for taking the time and effort into looking at and reading my post. I have search for people like you that give advice online but sometimes they don’t reply. But I think you just care about people and love helping them and I think that is great. 😀 well thanks again april

sincerely,
melanie

[ilovemakeup83]

complicated relationship
Sent at: Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:50 am

dear april,
hi i have this boyfriend and we have been together for almost 8 years now. in 2008 i met this guy on the bus and i hit him i wanted to know if i was still able to get a guys number. so he gave me his number i called him and a few days later we hooked-up. a big mistake i will never forgive myself for now my boyfriend found out about it and not that this guy has become infatuated with me and is acting like a crazy stalker. when i’m not at my parents he’ll go there uninvited. i told him i didn’t want him coming by but he didn’t listen. so finally i had to yell at him in front of my parents house and call the cops on him for harassing me. my boyfriend knows about the whole situation and is so hurt by it that he has started going onto craigslist and going on to my redbook.com also going to porn websites…. he’s even gone as far as too call these girls to hook-up with them. he says he loves but i don’t know if he even cares for me or wants a future with me. i still care so very much for him but he still won’t forgive me i understand he hurt by what i have done. but also now i am hurting by what he is doing to our relationship i wish it could be like it was when i first met him uncomplicated with us not hurting each other. how can i make things right between us. he says he wants me to be honest with him and faithful to him. i haven’t hooked-up with that guy or any guy this year or the year before. our relationship is hard because i live with my parents and he lives with his niece her boyfriend and their friend. not only that i live in different city from him. please give me advice for not just me but for both of us.

thanks,
melanie
ilovemakeup83

Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:25 am

[Member]

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