[tj11]

Update

So we are still friends I guess you would say. Never met face to face just IM and Text. However I am trying to move on and am actually starting to date again. She asked me today what I was doing this weekend, and I told her I was meeting someone. This kind of set her off asking a ton of questions…”is it a date”…”where are you guys going”…and I thought jokingly but not sure “no going to her house on the first date”…in which I said I do not know our plans but that I didnt need to explain anything to her. She then tried joking we need to stop the booty calls (in which we are not ) and that tonight she is going to text me to come over. I didnt take it seriously and then she texted me later that “she doesnt want to hear about me dating” and “she know nows that she cannot see me yet”. Yes I have asked her a couple of times in the past if she wanted to meet up for just coffee or to run. Which we have not.

Whats up with that? Is she hurt or jealous now? Yes she is still seeing the other guy.

[tj11]

Thank you April,

So just an update. So I am trying to improve myself and move on. Here is the catch. We are supposed to be “friends” and we talk almost everyday (or at least over IM, text , sometimes almost all during day by IM) but only when she is not with her BF (yes she is still dating the older guy 😡 ) more about that in second. Anyways we do talk like “friends” but always seem to get into a flirty and teasing mode almost everytime we are in contact. She will sometimes reel it back in (i think to protect herself) and i have offered to “talk” over the phone and/or meet up. She constantly goes back to the fact that she doesnt think she could do that because she “doesn’t know how she will react”. I try to tell her it is not a big issue (but yeah she probably right).

So alot of times when she contacts me it is because she wants to vent her frustrations about issues in her life. I have asked her why she doesn’t vent to her BF. Her response was it is “not that she can’t” but that “she has but he doesn’t understand” and “she knows I do” and “feels better after she talks to me”. I also asked her if her BF knew that we were still in contact and she said “he knows nothing”, hence why we are not in contact while he is around. I guess that makes sense, if i were on the other end I would not appreciate that she was still talking to her “ex”.

So my questions are…why is she still want to stay in contact? Why is she hiding it from her ex? Is this something I should put an end to at least reduce the amount of time we are in contact. Although I am making progress it seems to slow down the more i talk to her. I don’t know I am pretty realistic that we are not getting back together but sometimes I still want it to work out.

[tj11]

OK sorry ignore my last 2 posts…

I talked to my ex and truly believe she is in a rebound relationship with this guy. She just eluded to me on this is not a serious thing at this time.

We did have a good discussion on the big picture of why she truly ended it…yeah she loved me…yeah i treated her well. It comes down to she felt our romance and passion just wasnt there anymore. Of course I can kinda see that but up until a couple of months I guess I knew it came to a slow down. With the distance, kids, and both stressful jobs we were communicating but not communicating properly about our real needs. We were “I love you this… I love you so much…still showing affection but not truly romantic or passionate anymore (almost routine). Of course I know that that stuff can be “fixed” (and i told her that) if we truly tried but it is just a piece of the puzzle. Along with the distance, her feeling overwhelmed about my daughter, the pieces cannot be a whole again.

I guess i finally realize that even if she did want to get back together (which she doesn’t) it would never be the same.

One last thing that is holding my emotions up is that she still wants to be friends and communicate on a regular basis. I am doing this now but this probably is not healthly for me moving on right?

Tim

[tj11]

Thanks April,

I would marry her but not sure she wants that now, maybe it is too late. She has been posting FB pictures on her and her new (older) man. They seem to be living it up… Hiking etc… I think she might be seeing where this goes. He has no kids in the house…lives close by and has disposable income and probably is exciting for her right now ( and extremely Convenient) . We still email and sometimes text but she is vague about any details how it is going (not that i ask), and says she wants to protect my feelings. I feel like she might have already moved on. Who knows… any ideas on if and how i should proceed? Should I wait and see if this is really a rebound?

[tj11]

Thanks April,

I do want to marry her but I think now you might be right… she is posting pictures on her FB with this guy and being very vague when we text or email. He is much more settled since he is older and has $ and I think has recently taken her out of town…TOO LATE? I would not even know how to approach her now to get her back now but know I would do what it takes. How would I approach her because she knows that I want her back but I feel she is disinterested and wants to see where this guy leads too…

Dunno…Help please!

[Member]

Posts