[questions123]

I can definitely change my behavior. Haha. I mean, I already have. That’s what re-attracted her and got her curious again in the first place for sure. And she was loving it. Guess that slight bit of the old me just popped out feeling like it was getting serious again instead of just being chill.

[questions123]

Also, if that’s how she wants things to be then I’ll also take advantage of being single at times when the opportunity arrises. I just want to know if you think I burned the bridge of having anything (even casual) with her again by questioning her like that. Or if it’s just something she’ll be annoyed about for a few days and then get over it so we can keep hanging out.

[questions123]

Guess I might just have to sack up and deal with it because I definitely want to win her back. With the whole gift thing or questioning her I know not to do that now. After the other night I was given the impression that she was coming back to me, but I know now that I was wrong. Just sucks that she’d do that to me because I know she knows what I want. So why even mess with my head like that? Alright well the last thing I want to do is push her way, but I do want to continue this and just see where it goes. So what do I do? Haven’t seen or talked to her in almost a week now.

[questions123]

Hey April, here’s the attachment to the old thread of the new thread I posted earlier.

About a week after my last post in this thread back at the end of July my girlfriend at the time dumped me. Turned out she had been hanging out with that ex from high school behind my back for weeks.

So here’s the update on the current situation

My ex-girlfriend (21) of a year and a half and I (23) recently started talking again after being broken up for the last 5 months. The first 3 apart were no contact and the 4th was very little.

The reason for the split was her being tired of being in a relationship and she had also started hanging out with her high school flame again for a few weeks and went on vacation with him without telling me for a week before she came back and dumped me. From what I can tell, she’s been casually seeing this guy ever since, but they’ve never made it official.

I never wronged this girl in any way. I loved her with all my heart and gave her everything I could and she knows that. I just made things a little too easy. (It might also be important to mention that were each others first loves and sexual partners.)

Last month we hung out for the first time since the split when she came to a concert of mine and it was completely comfortable like nothing bad even happened. She ended up coming to my house after and we just had an awesome night hanging out as friends.

I didn’t see her and barely talked to her for about three weeks after that until she randomly called me a few days before Xmas to celebrate her 21st birthday with her. I thought I’d be meeting up with her and a group of friends, but it turned out to just be me her and her older sister. We ended up being all couply and made out that night. This past weekend we ended up hanging out again and went to grab a drink. We ended up being all couply again that night even more so than the week before and confessed how much we missed each other. We ended up going back to my place and having sex and then just cuddled and talked about a bunch of good memories of being together for the next few hours. Extremely intimate night.

I thought we might be starting to get on the road to getting back together. But…

On Sunday she posted a picture of a super romantic gift with the caption “Cutest gift ever” followed by a bunch of icons like this… The gift was totally not from me. So I asked her about it because It had me a little confused. This is how the conversation went…

Me: So friday was a lot of fun

Ex: Haha ya it was

Me: glad you came to hang out. haha.
can i ask you something though?

Ex: Ya sure

Me: saw that pic on instagram of the bear and stuff.
???

Ex: Ok?

Me: are you seeing somebody?

Ex: Lol no it was just a silly present

Me: o haha ****. i feel like a dumbass

Ex: Lol

Me: i’m sorry haha. i just kinda saw that and was like what?

Ex: Ya cheating isn’t really my thing
But
I’m not tied down to any one person

Me: ok. i wasnt saying that. i know that. i give you the right to slap me next time we hang out
haha
im sorry

She didn’t respond after that and we haven’t spoken since.

So I don’t really know what to think. Did I mess things up by asking her that? I feel like I had a right to know considering I’m not just some random new guy trying to date her. I’m the guy she planned on marrying not too long ago.

And does it seem like she wants to come back to me? Some of my friends say it sounds like she might but now she’s just conflicted because she’s had this casual thing going and never expected to start seeing me again. But now I’ve come back into the picture and she doesn’t know what to do. Cause she obviously still has feelings for me.

I know it might not be the best idea, but I still really love her and want to give things another shot.

So let me know how I should go about this. Do I say something to her again or just leave it alone and wait till she talks to me again?

[questions123]

Ok will do. Haha.

[questions123]

So update as of today. She finally called me after four days and said that she’s been out of town. She’s just needed a break from everything, not just me. Which I can believe with all the stresses in her life. She said that she really doesn’t want to break up, she just needs some time away from everything. She said she still loves me dearly, and promised that I mean the world to her. I asked her if that was really all that’s going on (with a “I’m not so sure you’re telling me everything” tone), because she seemed to be much more protective of her phone and cpu recently and she responded, “If you think I’m cheating on you or something, that’s not what’s happening. You know I’d never do that to you. It really hurts that you’d even think i’m capable of that.” I just responded saying. “No I don’t think you’re capable of that and that’s not what I think. You just haven’t been yourself and then you disappear for four days. I didn’t know what to think.” But I told her I loved and trusted her. And she promised me that we’d talk when she gets back. And I said I’m still gonna be here for her. So where do I go from here?

[questions123]

Ya, hopefully soon enough she realizes that it’s not her job to be her parent’s parent. That shouldn’t be a responsibility she has to take on.

I definitely have been stepping it up taking her out more and on nicer dates instead of just hanging around the house every day. Sometimes though it seems like she’s appreciating it, sometimes not.

It’s like she has an on/off switch with me lately. She’ll say how much she loves and misses me and how she can’t wait to hang out and have my arms around her. And calls to say good morning and good night or just to check in. Other days she just completely ignores me but I see her commenting other people and stuff on Facebook.

I just worry too that something’s going on behind my back. I trust her when she says she’s just friends with the guy. I just don’t trust him obviously. But when I hear from her a lot less, she’s hanging out with that group a lot more, and she also has her phone attached to her hip like never before. It makes me a little paranoid.

Am I just over thinking it?

Also she seems to currently be ignoring me again. Haven’t heard from her in almost two days. Last time we talked everything was totally fine. Since then I’ve sent her a couple texts. No response. Not gonna try contacting her until she contacts me I guess.

[questions123]

I’m 22 and she’s 20. Drug possession. And no, she was in once before but only for about a week versus months. Also something I didn’t mention before. A few weeks after things started getting better, she ran into an ex and he’s been talking to her. When I confronted her about it she assured me they’re just friends. He’s just in the same direct social circle as all her best girlfriends. So kind of unavoidable I guess. Still doesn’t make me very comfortable.

[Member]

Posts