[bsuey21]

Thank you, it does help.

Did I get the girl I want? No. Why? Not incompatibility; she herself said that she sees us as being very compatible. So it was the wrong dating skill set or approach.

She seemed to have closed the door pretty hard on any chance left; so how would I approach her from this point forward to nurture the possibility? Just proceed as a friend, who has to devote attention to other things and other women?

[bsuey21]

Thank you for helping to clarify my situation.

There is a lot of confusion, but there are a few things I do know. Even though I’ve only had one serious relationship in the past where my partner and I really opened up to each other, I have been in less serious relationships and generally dated with other types of women. I am absolutely sure that she is the type of woman I want.

After this episode, I agree with being open to other women, as long as they are generally the type of woman I want. Finding them is another issue, as a working professional in a new area, I don’t have very many connections I can exploit to find them. Not being in school anymore also complicates the issue.

With all that being said, I am hesitant in “dating” or “pursuing” her given how we have progressed; I’m not willing to make myself look like a bigger fool than I already am at this point, nor do I want to make her even more uncomfortable. On a very basic level, I am still interested in her because of her type, and [i][b]if I can garner interest in her again, I would like to do that. [/b][/i](I don’t know if “win her back” is the right phrase because technically I haven’t done anything wrong, but that is just semantics.)

I see the virtue in spreading my own attention around. Would it be correct to say that it doesn’t necessarily have to be other women, but just other things (job, other friends, etc) that demand my attention?

I’ve always dated in college, so this new dating environment is a completely new thing to me. I definitely messed up by opening up to her too soon, and I am still confused as to how precisely to proceed from here, if I want to nurture the possibility of her regaining interest.

[Member]

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