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Hi April,

Thank you! Sorry, one more question. Should I make any forward gestures such as asking her to coffee, or keep it low pressure and ask her how she’s been?

[limper1]

[quote=”April Masini”]I actually do not think that you should try to befriend her. Men and women being friends never works. Moving on is the right thing to do. 😉

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Oh yes, I totally agree. I was thinking more along the lines of directly showing a genuine interest without any frustrated, selfish undertones.

Thank you!

[limper1]

Hello,

Yes thank you! It’s nice to get it down with some perspective in return, as silly the situation is.

After a bit of reflecting… I was always nice and complimentary to her without being over the top. She looks stunning (in a cute way) but that isn’t what caught my attention. When I maybe had her attention or interest, I lacked confidence. I was too apologetic for my actions, asking her out etc. Oh, yeah, when she turned me down, before, in response I did say she was very endearing and that I’d wanted to be friends, if she wanted (as opposed to close-acquaintances). Maybe a little open, but in retrospect I don’t think there was anything wrong with that. She did cut me off after that though.

All in the past I guess. I do know she’s not seeing that guy or anyone (from a source) so that whole talking-to-another-guy-who-maybe-likes-you taboo can’t be there.

Moving on is right. Though I would like to get through to her if I could, just as a friend as I do respect her, perhaps after a little time, without appearing I’m obsessing over it. At the same time, I have no intent in forcing myself upon anyone. I’d like to send an email sometime instead of a cryptic message, put it out there. I’m not talking a love letter or the like. [b]Do you think that’s fair?[/b]

I care too much. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’m a little weird, but aren’t we all in some form or another?

Thank you!!

[limper1]

Epic response. Thank you!

She’s early 20’s… I’m a few years older. I spent many years being out of it socially while keeping my head down and getting through some of my challenges. I’m quite sociable when I’m comfortable. I haven’t had many chances to put myself out there but it’s just a matter of different paths in life that we all take, and mines the long route.

Physical attraction is obviously an easy way to get a girls immediate attention. I think she was cute (she is). Way back I wasn’t confident about playing that card because I was completely overweight. I was 190lbs and very weak. Four months later I’m now 150ish and progressing – it’s a testament to my potential and drive to find a way with my neuropathy.

When we hung out and did the casual coffee thing, etc, I felt insecure, incapable and unattractive. I always kinda felt she was trying to be nice. She did touch on being lonely but I failed to bite. After stalling, I naively asked her to dinner. I meant it in a more innocent fashion to avoid walking around and stuff.

I think I know the guy she “was seeing.” One of this exuberant blowhards that is 125lbs, posts videos grunting and moaning while lifting 10lb weights, flirty with every girl. Probably gave her the attention she wanted even though he started dating someone else. (I’m joking somewhat, but I’m thinking she’s very impressionable)

It was like 7 months ago when I was in regular communication. Unfortunately on the social networking thing as she’s one of those girls that live life on it. I sent her a friendly note asking how she was over the summer just to check in. Didn’t hear back for a while and I deleted my account because I grew tired of the f/b thing in general. I’m thinking that when she got around to ‘seeing’ it, she thought I cut her off personally?

I was never standoffish. I always kind and showed in interest in her. Perhaps a little modulation of the throttle at times, but never on the brakes.

It just bugs me how she was a couple days ago. Maybe she’s not interested, but the cold shoulder, shut out approach seems [b]awfully personal[/b]. That or she’s just too immature or shy to say ‘no.’

I sent a note letting her know I was sorry I missed her after her class (not noting that I waited like a puppy), thought it was nice seeing her around periodically, I liked what I thought she was about and that superficiality is not my thing (double meaning snipe-ish… ah). I kinda hope she gets it, thinks about it. Maybe I just want the last word.

In the back of my mind, I hoped she’d see me in a different light. I know we have a lot in common but I think it’s convenient for her to keep her eyes closed. I’m moving on. Continuing to better myself as I now know I can. Maybe I’ll see her around campus when next semester starts in a couple months.

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