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No I appreciate your opinion! That is why I came here 🙂 His daughter is included and if she were in the same state as us then of course she would be welcome (I’m not sure if that is what you meant by not included). They live in separate states from each other, its just her mom’s year to have her on this holiday. Otherwise she would be coming with him to my families. He will be staying home doing nothing for Thanksgiving if he doesn’t come with me, his other daughter will be working as she already knows nothing is going on because her sister is not here. However, if she wasn’t working she would (was) also be invited. He does not speak with his extended family so they are not coming into play. In fact my family is upset that they are not coming. And I have to be honest as say that they have all looked at me like wtf? Its the same feeling I have! So basically come christmas when my daughter is with her father, and (if still together) we wake up christmas morning and open gifts with his children I should leave because my daughter isn’t there? No I will be happy and joyful for those that ARE there and keep the fact that I’m missing my daughter terribly to myself and not ruin or show lack of appreciation to anyone else. Because that is what family does…
I just wanted to know if I was wrong in thinking that it isn’t fair to the rest of the people in his life that because one isn’t around everything has to stop. It isn’t being selfish and I am willing compromise, that is one point I will disagree with you on. He is not the one that has not been willing to compromise on this issue…so I guess its time for me to move on. I know blending families isn’t easy, I was up for the challenge. It is not like they are complete strangers to each other, and like I said one lives over 1000 miles away.

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The fact that I am legally still married really has nothing to do with this. Both me and my ex have other people in our lives that our daughter is involved with. The reason for still being paper married is that it isn’t finalized through the court system, and a stubborn ex prolonging the process.
His 15 yr old daughter lives 1000 miles away. And if she were with us, we would all go together instead she will be celebrating with her mothers family this year. His daughter and I went through the rough patch you spoke of when we first met, we are past that now 🙂
That is really my point in all this…when/if we blend families, this can’t be the way things are…and before I,remember I have a house to rebuild, plan a future in that direction that would keep me from doing so. Besides why would I want the man I love sitting home alone on Thanksgiving when I am so very thankful for everything he has done for me and my daughter.

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we have been together for 3 years, no we are not engaged as of yet but we have always talked about it and he stated years ago that he wants to marry me.I was the one uncertain about it but I have no doubt that if we get through this we will get married. Our situation is rather complicated as my divorce is not final yet. No I was not with him while I was married, I have been separated for many years now. The minute we met there was something special, as if we have known each other for years. He has always talked about wanting to do things as a family, holidays, etc. Yes, my words caused this bitterness, but he stated no celebrating holidays if his one daughter isn’t with us, before we fought and before I found out I was pregnant. Just a side note: he is not at all being a jerk about the pregnancy issue. We are just uncertain as we are 36 and 40 and have both stated no more kids.
So I can’t say anything about the pregnancy and if we have this child he can’t not celebrate because of them is not here, that should not have to be stated. All the kids will have to understand that holidays still happen if one of them can’t be here (this includes my daughter, as there will be holidays that she can’t be with us)
His kids are 15 and 21, mine is 8 they are all girls. I think it has more to do with not wanting to upset his daughter, she will be sad that he is celebrating a holiday with another family. I don’t want to sound rude but if my 8 year old can understand that I will be celebrating holidays when she is not around, without getting upset,then certainly a 15 year old can.

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