[Drey]

Thank you Ms April for your reply. No my boyfriend and I actually get along pretty well until his mother and ex wife butt in. My Daughter graduates Med school on May 16th this year. I have decided to wait he wants to at anytime. My son graduates high schoolvnext spring 2016. I have reservations about marrying him, im nit going to be belittled and constsntly stalked by his ex. He is always attentive and has never strung me along. I guess I didn’t express all of the facts enough. I’m not an overly emotional woman. I don’t rant and rave. And I have never meddled in anyone else’s relationship. Aside from the mom and ex meddling in my relationship I’m secure with my guy. I guess this is something you are having a hard time grasping. He has a very manioulative mother. You would have to kniw them to understand. But I do thank you for your responses. Again thank you.

[Drey]

I am 46 and my boyfriend is 49. His ex is 53. We don’t live together. No we are not engaged. We have talked about marriage. I have a daughter in med school and we are waiting for her to graduate and my son is graduating high school this year. After those things happen I feel I would be ready to take on a marriage. The reason I called her man is because I felt he should know that she has a problem moving on. the first time she called I was not aware that they communicated. He has told me that every relationship he has had before me his ex has had a hand in the break up. I thought I could handle her if she ever came up. I don’t have a problem with them conmunicating I have a problem when she can call him in the background but in my presence she doesn’t acknowledge him. My brother married her first cousin. She attended the wedding. When she came in she walked past, to me if she was upfront she would have said hello to both of us and then proceeded. As I stated before the grandkids were her last resort. she moved back to the city and called his mother to tell him she couldn’t get her lights turned on because he had an outstanding utility bill in his name. His mother asked for the divorce papers so the wife could prove they were divorced. Prior to this his mother called me to ask me if I thought they were really divorced, because men lie. So I know they were lieing about the utility company needing the divorce decree. It doesn’t work that way. At the time they were divorced about 7 years. His mother does the dirty work, his mother has a lot of influence on him. His sister called me one day and told me she never knew her mother and the ex wife had such a close relationship. She stated that when they were married the ex didn’t have anything to do with the family including his mother. Now they are partners in crime.
I just think it is sneaky to be calling him. What are you all talking about and it’s been 15 or 20 years move on. Do something else. I know she is stuck. she has expressed to others that she wants him back. Since they have been divorced he has been involved in two long term relationships. Including this one with me. His ex used to leave letters, teddy bears and candy in his mailbox when we first started dating. The young lady before me left him because of his mother and ex. I have to admit his mother is a manipulator she knows he loves her and will take what she says as gospel. I know it was important to the mom for them to be cordial to each other, but this stuff about your ex will always be your wife is bull. His mother is a minister so her gospel is golden to him. Still in all that Why can’t she move on? I do trust him, I don’t trust her. And why is he not confortable with acknowledging their relationship? I didn’t start acting out until I saw that she couldn’t move on. Also when they split before the divorce he went back to her once because she called his mother and said she was having a mental breakdown and his mother told him to go and try it one more time. He did. And it didn’t work out so he filed for divorce. And since then it has been downhill for his relationships. I contacted her boyfriend because that man doesn’t know what trouble he is in for. The last time she called that guy was in the background asking her who she was talking to and she told him none of his business. I was listening in on that call. My guy told her he was at my house.
I was married 13 years, my ex spouse and I have a child together. We only communicate about our son. Very little communication. When he wants to talk to our son, he calls him. He respects my boyfriend if he does call. He will say hello to him and they will talk a little then he talks to me about what he called about, and every time its regarding our son. And my ex and I do not have any form of hostility towards each other. But there is some closure.

I can’t accept the sneaky underhanded stuff. I’m upfront and I am very open. I can handle their relationship. But acknowledge that you know each other and have a relationship.
Yes admit my guy is a whimp! But he wouldn’t have to be in this situation if she would just move on.

[Member]

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