[Pheonix]

Thanks so much April, I really appreciate your feedback and it totally makes sense!

[Pheonix]

The ball is clearly in her court. Basically all you can do at this point is wait patiently for her to come around….however ( and this is coming from my own experience as a woman who uses Tinder), if she doesn’t outright message you in a few days saying that she would love to meet up for another drink, it’s best that you move on.
Tinder is a strange thing…there are a lot of options and women tend to get overwhelmed with the response they get. Not to mention that women typically want to play it “nice” by not offending anyone, but their “niceness” can be confusing to guys – which sometimes gives them the idea that they have a chance. My advice is to pay attention to this dynamic in the future so that you aren’t fooled.
The bottom line: If a girl likes you and thinks somethings special is there, she will let it be known!! Don’t waste your time on the ones who don’t.

[Pheonix]

I have to say that I completely agree with April, she was just better at saying it outright!!
Being alone after 7 years is intimidating sometimes, but you have to look longterm and realize that you will be happier in the end.
I wish you the best!

[Pheonix]

Thanks so much for your reply April, it all makes sense….however, to fill you in on the other details – my boyfriend had a concussion last year which resulted in a host of other problems, including depression and changes in his mental ability and personality. His rationale behind taking a break was that he honestly doesn’t feel able to be in a relationship at this time, since he can literally do nothing – and offer very little to the relationship at present. I do see his reasoning in this, but also sense that his reaction is perhaps based on his depression and lack of self esteem at the moment. He feels as though he will never be able to “catch up” to me…in terms of life achievements, etc. I am 33 and he is 26.

We do have similar goals and values, and we understand each other very deeply, I’ve never loved anyone like how I love him. I suppose what I’m facing is a question of faith and trust…I am willing to wait to see if we can make this work again, but am feeling mixed messages on his part. How can I ask him the right questions, or approach the situation, so that I can see this with full transparency and honesty – in order to make a decision which is healthy for me?

Thankyou again!

[Pheonix]

Of course, no worries at all, glad to help 🙂 Truly, you seem like a great woman and…in the end, life is short – you deserve to be with someone who treats you like a Goddess. The more that you love and honour yourself in this way, the more you will attract someone who does the same. 7 years is a long time, I applaud you for doing your best with this situation, but it seems like it’s time to let go. Of course, this has only been my experience with previous relationships which lasted this long….if things don’t change for the better within the first couple of years, it’s in your best interest to move on and open yourself to a more supportive relationship 🙂 I wish you all the best, you deserve it!

[Pheonix]

Hello 🙂 After reading this a few times and thinking about it…I have to say that my advice would be to move on, and to let go. I know it’s hard, but if he hasn’t shown you that he can change, after this long….I don’t think that you should waste your time and energy anymore. You sound like a very kind and amazing woman, and I know that there are tons of men who would appreciate and honour you in ways that your current boyfriend isn’t. It comes down to how much can you respect yourself, and love yourself, enough to walk away from a situation that is putting strain on you. Stepping into the unknown is really scary sometimes, but just know that you can do it and that it’s the only way to allow room for something wonderful to come along. Of course, this is only my opinion, but it sounds as though he is taking advantage of you….and to me this isn’t love – it’s something else. I hope this helps!!

[Member]

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