[Ethan Morales]

Here’s what’s happening: Dan clearly likes you he’s been inviting you to hang out, showing concern about the “third wheel” situation, and has talked about your future before. The problem isn’t that he lost interest; it’s that he’s sensitive, and the NYE incident hit him harder than it needed to. That’s why he pulled back for a bit.

What you can do: Let go of the past drama. Don’t bring up NYE again. It’s over, and rehashing it only keeps him on edge. Take it slow. He’s pacing the relationship differently than you are. Respect his pace he wants connection, but not pressure. Be upbeat and fun. Be someone he looks forward to being around. Keep interactions light, flirty, and interesting. Avoid guilt trips or overexplaining.

Focus on positive shared experiences. Go to the show, enjoy the music, the laughs, the time together. This strengthens your bond without forcing a commitment. Check your expectations. He’s not labeling things or moving quickly, so your attachment to immediate reassurance will only stress you. Let things unfold naturally.

he still likes you, but he’s processing on his own timetable. Your job is to be present, fun, and patient, not to chase or convince him. Over time, he’ll warm up more as he feels secure again.

[Ethan Morales]

your children’s feelings are important, but your proposal is primarily about you and your girlfriend. Your 19-year-old may have strong reactions that’s normal but you cannot base such a life-changing decision on whether she approves. Teens, even older ones, often feel threatened by changes in the family and fear being left out, especially when it comes to remarriage.

Focus on the proposal as a private celebration. Enjoy Paris with your girlfriend, make it about your love, not about managing your daughter’s reaction.

Plan a thoughtful family conversation after the proposal. Once you’re home, tell both your children together, in person. Be honest, emphasize that they remain central in your life, and share the excitement rather than seeking approval.

Anticipate mixed emotions. Your daughter may be upset or resistant at first. That’s normal. Your goal isn’t to avoid all negative feelings, but to show consistency, love, and respect as you integrate your family over time.

Limit pre-proposal disclosure. Telling her beforehand risks her inadvertently spoiling the surprise or creating unnecessary stress for everyone and it’s not your responsibility to pre-manage her emotions.

Propose privately, celebrate your engagement, then communicate openly and sensitively with your children afterward. That way, you honor your relationship with your girlfriend while still being thoughtful about your children’s feelings.

[Ethan Morales]

You’re at a very real breaking point, and your body, your mental health, and your child are all signaling that this situation is unsustainable. You’ve been hoping he’d change for years, but the pattern hasn’t stopped it’s chronic, and it’s affecting you deeply.

Here’s what you need to focus on: your life and your son’s well-being. That means making decisions that protect your health, your mental stability, and your child’s sense of security. Continuing to stay in a marriage with someone who repeatedly violates trust will only prolong your pain and risk your health further.

Practical steps: Prioritize safety and mental health Reach out to a therapist or counselor for support in navigating this emotionally and mentally. Build a support system of friends or family you can rely on.

Legal and practical planning Start looking into divorce options and child custody arrangements. Document his behavior if it’s relevant to custody or legal proceedings.

Create boundaries immediately Limit communication that enables or excuses his behavior. Stop trying to manage his compulsivity that is not your responsibility. Take care of your health Shingles at 28 is a huge stress signal. Focus on rest, nutrition, and reducing stress as much as possible.

It’s completely understandable to love him and grieve what you hoped for in your marriage, but love alone cannot fix chronic betrayal. The healthiest choice for you and your son is to separate and reclaim your life. The sooner you do, the sooner you can start healing and creating a stable, peaceful environment for both of you.

[Ethan Morales]

Here’s the heart of it: Joe was very clear he doesn’t want a relationship, with you or anyone. That means he’s not “letting you off easy” he’s being honest, and you have to take him at his word.

The key steps for you now are:

Accept the reality

It’s painful, but the truth is he’s not going to change his mind while he’s in that mindset. Clinging to hope will only prolong your misery.

Step back completely

Don’t try to stay friends right now. Seeing him flirt with other women will hurt and keep you stuck. You need space to heal.

Focus on yourself

Go out, meet new people, pick up hobbies, spend time with friends anything that makes you feel good and reminds you of your worth.

Move on at your pace

After some time, if he truly changes and reaches out, that’s one thing. But don’t wait around for it. Your happiness comes first.

he’s an incompatibility, not a failure on your part. Accept it, step away, and let yourself heal. The best way to “come back” later is after you’ve built your own life, not while you’re still emotionally tied to him.

[Ethan Morales]

The key takeaway is that long-distance “pre-dating” can be fun and flirty, but it’s not the same as a real relationship until you’ve met in person. You don’t want to promise boyfriend/girlfriend status before seeing if you truly click in person chemistry, lifestyle, and shared values matter a lot.

Here’s how to approach it:

Keep it playful and affectionate

Terms like “honey” are perfect. You can also use other endearments she likes.

Send small thoughtful gestures texts that show you’re thinking of her, funny memes, short voice notes, or small gifts. These reinforce connection without rushing commitment.

Talk about your lives and values

Share your day-to-day, hobbies, dreams, and future plans. Ask about hers.

Discuss your thoughts on relationships, travel, family, work this gives you both a sense of compatibility before meeting.

Flirt and build emotional intimacy

Use teasing, playful challenges, and inside jokes to create closeness.

Ask thoughtful, personal questions that go beyond surface conversation.

Set expectations for meeting in person

Make it clear that the in-person meeting is the real test for chemistry and compatibility.

You can build anticipation, e.g., “I can’t wait to finally see if we click as much in person as we do on the phone.”

Don’t overcommit

Enjoy the emotional closeness, but don’t declare a formal boyfriend/girlfriend status yet.

This keeps the relationship healthy and realistic it’s about getting to know each other, not rushing labels.

Flirt, share, connect, but keep the “official” status for after you meet. That way, you’re building intimacy without creating unrealistic expectations.

[Ethan Morales]

The most important fact here is that he is married with a child. Everything else whether he’s Arab, Muslim, or living abroad doesn’t change the core issue: he already has a family. His words about “our kids” or being “happy with you” are affectionate, but they don’t change that reality. Those statements can be flattering and confusing, but they aren’t promises or indicators that he intends to leave his family.

Focus on his marital status, not cultural assumptions Divorce does happen in Arab families, but it’s not the key factor here. Even if it were more common in some cultures, it doesn’t mean he will leave his wife. His actions matter more than cultural norms.

Emotional boundaries Being physically affectionate and emotionally close with someone who is married can create intense feelings, but it’s ultimately a situation with limited options for a real relationship that leads to marriage.

Self-protection Falling in love with someone unavailable can be emotionally risky. You deserve someone who can fully commit to you without complications.

He may like you in a special way, but a relationship with him cannot fully exist without him leaving his family and he’s not signaling that he will. If your goal is a genuine, committed relationship, the healthiest path is to step back and focus on someone who is single and available.

[Ethan Morales]

You’re noticing a value difference that’s important how he prioritizes you versus his kids. That’s legitimate to feel concerned about, because parenting is a core part of someone’s life, and if your values around that differ sharply, it can create long-term tension.

However, it’s also worth considering the context: he may have been talking about a Christmas gift incident and not a pattern of neglect. Some parents do try to make holidays special for everyone and sometimes things get awkward. The key is whether his children’s needs are consistently met in the bigger picture (education, emotional support, daily care) and whether he genuinely balances his relationship with you alongside his parenting responsibilities.

Assess your deal breakers, Ask yourself if this value difference around prioritizing kids vs. partner is something you cannot compromise on.

Observe patterns, not one-off comments, One offhand remark about a gift may be poor judgment, not a reflection of his overall parenting.

Communicate clearly, Let him know your perspective: you want a partner who respects his responsibilities as a parent and keeps children’s needs a priority. See how he responds.

Decide based on values alignment, If he dismisses your concern or consistently puts you ahead of his kids in important matters, that’s a red flag. If he listens and adjusts where appropriate, it might just be a difference of approach you can navigate.

Your concern is valid. Pay attention to consistent behavior, not a single incident. Use this as a moment to clarify expectations and boundaries early in the relationship.

[Ethan Morales]

Here’s the core of what’s going on and some practical ways to improve both communication and your sense of contribution in the relationship:

Take the pressure off yourself. You’re feeling like you have to meet some invisible standard or “perform” in the relationship, but he’s already told you you’re enough. Feeling awkward or freezing up is not a failure it’s just part of learning how to interact in a new romantic dynamic. Remind yourself that he likes you for you, not for a polished version of yourself.

Small, consistent efforts matter more than perfection. Effort doesn’t have to be grand gestures. Even small things sending a thoughtful text, asking about his day, sharing something that made you laugh show that you care and are engaged. Over time, these little moments add up more than any one big effort.

Practice open and honest communication. If you feel unsure or awkward, it’s okay to express that. Saying something like, “Sometimes I get nervous and my mind goes blank, but I really enjoy being with you” gives him insight into your feelings and reduces misunderstandings. Being honest about your introversion and autism can help him better understand your reactions instead of assuming you’re disinterested.

Find shared activities or rituals. Differences in personality can make conversation tricky. Try shared experiences cooking together, watching a show, doing a hobby that give you something to talk about naturally. Shared experiences create connection without the pressure of constant verbal communication.

Work on self-awareness and self-acceptance. The fact that you’re questioning yourself is normal, especially early in a relationship. Keep exploring who you are, what makes you comfortable, and how you like to interact with others. This self-knowledge will naturally make communication easier and more confident.

Give yourself grace four months is still early. Relationships take time to settle into a rhythm. You’re still learning about each other, and it’s okay that things feel a little awkward or tense. The key is to notice what works, communicate honestly, and gradually build comfort not to force yourself to be someone you’re not.

Relax, take the pressure off, and focus on small, meaningful ways to connect. Effort is about consistency, honesty, and care not perfection. Over time, your confidence and ease with him will grow naturally.

[Ethan Morales]

Here’s the situation clearly: you’re caught in a cycle of wanting her, imagining what could be, and using the “research partner” angle to keep some connection alive but it’s not really about the report anymore, it’s about your feelings. That’s why it’s eating at you and affecting your studies.

April Masini’s advice really hits the mark: Stop using the research project as a pretext. Right now, asking her to collaborate is a way to avoid risking rejection. If she’s already seeing someone, any extra effort to get close in this context is likely to just prolong your frustration.

Decide what you actually want. You either want a romantic connection or you don’t. If it’s just friendship or working on reports, great but it seems like it’s more than that. If it’s romantic, you have to confront reality.

Be honest with her and yourself. Asking her out directly is the only way to move forward. It doesn’t guarantee a yes, but it does guarantee clarity. You’ll know if you can pursue something or if you need to step back. Right now, you’re stuck in “what ifs,” which is mentally exhausting.

Accept her choice. If she says no, it’s painful but it’s better than wasting months obsessing. If she says yes, great then it’s a clear starting point for a relationship.

Bottom line: stop prolonging the limbo. Either ask her on a date (make it clear it’s romantic, not academic) or let yourself move on. Anything in between keeps you stuck in anxiety and “miserable states” that affect your studies and mental health.

[Ethan Morales]

That’s one of the hardest situations someone can be in grieving, trying to rebuild, and then finding yourself pulled into another painful, unstable relationship. Here’s how April Masini’s advice breaks down and what it really means for you:

You’ve been through deep trauma don’t rush your heart. Losing your husband to suicide is a profound emotional wound. Two months later, your heart was still raw, and it makes sense that you wanted closeness and comfort. But emotionally, it’s too soon to carry someone else’s pain while you’re still processing your own. Masini’s suggestion to pause dating for a year isn’t about punishment it’s about giving you space to heal and regain balance before opening yourself to another intense relationship.

His suicidal threats are not love they’re emotional manipulation (even if unintentional). When someone says they’ll hurt themselves if you leave, it puts you in a terrible position it traps you in guilt. But you can’t be responsible for his safety. He needs professional help, not your constant emotional rescue. The right step is to call emergency services or the VA crisis line when he makes those threats. That’s not betrayal that’s protecting both of you.

He’s not emotionally ready for a healthy relationship either. He has PTSD, anger issues, and dependency problems. Those don’t make him a bad person but they mean he’s not stable enough to be a partner right now. His behavior name-calling, self-harm threats, insecurity shows that he’s struggling to regulate his emotions. Until he’s consistently in treatment and showing real progress, the relationship will stay unstable and unsafe for you.

Love isn’t enough when safety and stability are missing. You say he’s loving and affectionate and that’s real. But the good moments can’t erase the fact that you’re living in fear and stress. Love should feel safe, not like walking on eggshells. You don’t owe him marriage, commitment, or financial sacrifice while he’s in crisis. You owe yourself peace and recovery.

Take your power back gently but firmly. If you choose to step back, do it calmly. You can say: “I care about you deeply, but I’m not in a place to be in this relationship right now. You need professional help, and I need time to heal too. I’ll contact someone who can help you through this safely.” Then follow through call for help if he threatens self-harm. That’s the kindest and most responsible thing you can do.

Give yourself permission to pause. You don’t have to make a forever decision today. Take time for yourself therapy, rest, and gentle living. You’ve already carried unimaginable weight; now it’s time to put it down and heal.

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been dating 7 months, recently made it official. Ran into your ex; had some drama but seemed resolved. Went on a weekend trip; he had mixed feelings about intimacy due to your ex and being your first serious sexual partner. After an argument over clarity and consent, he packed and left you stranded in the hotel early morning.

His behavior was immature and disrespectful. Leaving you alone in a hotel and driving home without you shows poor communication, poor conflict resolution, and lack of consideration for your safety. You haven’t invested too long, so it’s early to recognize red flags. While the relationship was progressing, you caught this behavior before it became a bigger issue.

He tried to push intimacy while you weren’t sure, then got upset when you communicated your feelings that’s not a healthy dynamic.

Your feelings are valid. Wanting him despite his behavior is normal; attachment can happen quickly. But wanting someone doesn’t mean they’re good for you.

Recommended Next Steps. Do not reach out immediately. He owes you accountability, but the way he handled this is a dealbreaker.

Reflect on your needs and boundaries. Ask yourself if you want to be with someone who reacts by abandoning you and disregarding your feelings.

Move on. Start focusing on yourself, your safety, and your emotional well-being. Take the time to heal and date people who show respect and maturity.

This isn’t about whether he “still loves you” it’s about how he treats you. Being left stranded in a hotel after a fight is a major red flag. Masini would say you deserve someone who communicates clearly, respects your feelings, and handles conflict like an adult.

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been dating seven months; relationship appeared serious. You spent the holidays together and even shared space and routines that indicate commitment. Since New Year’s, he has withdrawn, stopped communicating, and isn’t responding to texts. You’ve been giving him space but it’s now been 10+ days, which is unusual.

His behavior is unusual but not necessarily about you April’s point is important: something may be going on in his life unrelated to the relationship stress, work issues, family matters, etc. Avoid assuming the worst immediately, but also trust your instincts.

Texting is insufficient Texts can’t convey tone or urgency, and he may be avoiding them. More personal methods (phone call, in-person visit, handwritten note) can open communication.

Your needs matter Seven months is long enough that you deserve clarity. You’ve been patient, polite, and supportive, which is healthy, but you also shouldn’t wait indefinitely for answers.

Recommended Approach Make personal contact Call him and express concern: “I’m worried about you. I want to understand what’s going on and see how I can help.” Keep the focus on him, not blame or frustration.

Optional supportive gesture Drop off a small thoughtful gesture like cookies with a short note expressing care and that you’re there for him. Set a boundary Give a clear timeframe for response. For example: “I need to know if you’re okay and what’s happening between us. If I don’t hear from you by [specific day], I will have to assume this relationship isn’t working.”

This gives him space but also protects your emotional well-being. If he continues to shut down After multiple attempts, if he still avoids communication, it’s reasonable to end the relationship.

Breaking up should be clear, kind, and honest: “I’ve tried reaching out because I care about you, but I haven’t gotten the communication I need. I can’t continue waiting like this, so I think it’s best we go our separate ways.” Preferably over a phone call or in person rather than text.

Give him a few structured attempts to respond using more personal communication. If he still shuts down, it’s a clear signal that he isn’t invested or capable of communicating, and it’s okay to move on.

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been dating your boyfriend for over two years. You recently discovered he has two children with another woman. He claims the woman got pregnant while they were in separate relationships, and both children’s paternity was hidden from her husband. Despite this, you continued the relationship, loving him even though he cheated and lied. Recently, he wants to “fix things” with his kids and claims he wants to be okay with you again.

Lies and deception He didn’t just hide the children. he was actively involved in deceiving others about paternity. That’s not a small mistake; it shows a pattern of dishonesty and manipulation.

Cheating and emotional manipulation. He cheated on you while maintaining a complicated, deceptive relationship with the other woman. You continued to chase him despite the hurt, which shows your emotional investment but also leaves you vulnerable.

Trust is broken. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Someone who has lied repeatedly about something as serious as children and paternity has proven they are not trustworthy.

April’s assessment is blunt but accurate: this is not a healthy relationship to continue. He’s shown that he prioritizes his own convenience and deception over honesty and respect for you. Staying with him will likely continue to hurt you, because his actions have already shown his moral boundaries and pattern of behavior.

The “I want us to be okay” now is too little, too late it’s not a guarantee of honesty or loyalty in the future.

Leave him. You deserve someone who is honest, respectful, and capable of giving you the trust and stability you need in a relationship. Continuing to invest in this man will only prolong emotional pain and frustration.

[Ethan Morales]

You’re 39 with a 5-year-old adopted daughter. You met a 34-year-old woman in October; it started as casual but grew serious quickly. You’ve met her family, and she interacts warmly with your daughter’s niece. She initially said she didn’t want to date someone with a child, but then wanted to try after a break. She expressed concern about your love for your adopted daughter, saying she couldn’t understand it.

Her hesitation is a red flag. Dating someone with a child is a big deal. If she’s struggling with even the idea of your daughter, that’s a serious compatibility issue. Her questioning your love for your adopted child shows she may not fully accept your family situation. Affection for a niece doesn’t equal readiness. Loving and spoiling a niece is different from embracing the reality of being a parent’s partner.

It’s encouraging, but it doesn’t override her reservations about a blended family. You’re clear about your values. You love your daughter fiercely. That’s non-negotiable.Someone who can’t accept your child fully isn’t likely to be a long-term partner. Compatibility matters more than attraction. You can like or even love someone, but if they’re uncomfortable with your family, it won’t work long-term. Early clarity is a gift: it prevents years of heartache if it’s not going to work.

This isn’t about her being “bad” or “cold-hearted.” It’s about compatibility and values. She may struggle with children or adoption, and that’s okay for her, but it means she’s likely not the right partner for a man with a 5-year-old adopted daughter.

Even if you love her, trying to force the relationship could lead to frustration, resentment, or heartbreak for all involved including your daughter. The healthiest path is to look for someone who fully embraces your family situation and shares your values about parenting and adoption.

She’s showing early signs that she may not be ready or able to accept a partner with a child. It’s worth letting this go and focusing on a partner who can wholeheartedly embrace your life and family.

[Ethan Morales]

You and this girl were friends at work and spent good time together for about two months. After the department shut down, you tried to meet her outside of work. She initially said she would let you know about a date, but never followed through. When you tried again weeks later, she said she’d text you later that night but didn’t.

No response is often a response. Even if she is genuinely busy, someone who wants to see you will usually make time or propose an alternative. Her repeated delays and lack of follow-up strongly suggest she’s not interested in taking things further.

She’s sending clear signals. Her actions (or inaction) show that she’s not prioritizing meeting up with you, which is more telling than anything she might verbally say.

Stop chasing. Repeatedly asking someone out after they’ve ignored or delayed responses often pushes them further away.

Focus on your own life. Put your energy into friends, hobbies, and meeting new people who are interested in spending time with you.

Move on gracefully. It’s okay to feel disappointed, but accepting her lack of interest will free you to find someone who truly wants to be with you.

You’ve done the polite and proactive thing by asking her out. Her non-responsiveness is the clearest indicator that she’s not interested. The healthiest move is to stop pursuing her and redirect your energy toward relationships that are mutual and enthusiastic.

[Member]

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