[Hannah]

You both need to talk and ask yourselves if you still want to stay in the relationship or not. These kinds of problems need to be addressed now, because if they’re not, they will just keep happening and the relationship will become unhealthy.

If you are truly trying to save your relationship, then you need to start fixing things now and avoid adding more problems that could damage it further.

You both need to choose each other and decide if you still want to continue moving forward together.

[Hannah]

Since you’ve only just started dating, it’s better for you to go through the process first. Julia does have a valid point in her advice to you.

Regarding her brother-in-law, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It doesn’t seem like there are any romantic intentions between them. Maybe her brother-in-law is just concerned about her, which is why he behaves that way.

It’s up to you how you choose to understand the situation, and it’s also your decision whether you want to continue the relationship or not.

[Hannah]

Honestly, that’s the difficult thing about long-distance relationships, only a few really succeed in that kind of setup.

In your situation with her, it’s better not to make it a big issue for now. What she’s been saying has been consistent, so try to observe first. You’ve only been together for a few months, and it’s not good to judge her based only on the history of the people she hangs out with.

She also has her own social life, and her world doesn’t revolve only around you, especially since your relationship is still new. Just observe the situation for now, and then decide later whether you still want to continue or not.

[Hannah]

It’s normal for a 16-year-old high school girl to suddenly lose interest, especially since she is still exploring things in life. She might have also felt overwhelmed or annoyed by you.

You need to give her space because the more you keep insisting or chasing her, the more she may get irritated with you.

You also need to accept the reality that she may no longer like you. You should try to move on, you’re still young and you will meet many other people.

Try to explore other things for now as well.

[Hannah]

When you like or love someone, you do everything for that person. I think he does like you, but maybe it’s not that deep yet, or he’s not fully sure enough to make you a priority.

It’s right that you gave him signals that you like him so it could encourage him to admit his feelings too, but then he became busy.

It’s also not advisable that you’re the one always chasing him, he might get overwhelmed or annoyed.

What you should do for now is to step back a little and let him be the one to come after you.

[Hannah]

Of course, that feeling is normal. No matter how understanding you are, you’ll still feel jealousy, especially since her ex was with her for 3 years.
It would be better to talk about it properly. Tell her how you feel. It’s more important to be open than to keep your jealousy to yourself and let it build up. You also need to protect your emotions and your peace of mind.
It’s not too much to ask for her to move on from her ex, the important thing is your relationship now.

[Hannah]

The problem is that the girl isn’t consistent. Even if you want her to come back, only she can decide that.

That kind of relationship is also not healthy. It might be better for you to just move on. For me, she doesn’t deserve you. There are many other people out there who will choose you every day, not just when they need you.

[Hannah]

You’re expecting too much from him. You’re looking for the things you want him to do, and what’s happening is that he’s starting to feel pressured by your demands. You even went to his house just to argue with him.

It’s normal to have expectations from him since you are in a relationship. What’s not normal is that he is no longer sure about you. Maybe you need to give him space so he can think clearly, and at the same time, you can reflect on yourself too.

Take time to think about your situation. Ask yourself if it’s still worth waiting for him or if it’s better to move on.

[Hannah]

He may have based his reaction on your answer when he asked if you loved him and you said you didn’t know. He probably got confused and thought he didn’t have a chance or that if he pursued you, you might reject him because you were not sure about your feelings for him.

If you want to reconnect with him I think you can start by texting him again and having a simple conversation. Then just wait and see if he invites you out since he is the guy. As your conversations grow longer, you might start to sense whether he still has feelings for you. He may even ask you again if you like him. If that happens, don’t hide your feelings anymore. Be honest and tell him that you love him and that you want to go back to how things before.

[Hannah]

It’s really hard to forget painful things from the past, especially when the same mistakes were repeated like flirting with other women, looking up your ex on Facebook and most of all, LYING.

Give her space for now so she can think about how she might eventually move past what happened and how she can forgive you. You can not force her to rebuild trust because once trust is broken, it’s very difficult to restore.

You are doing the right thing by giving each other space. Maybe in that time apart, she will start to miss you and reflect on whether she is ready to let go of the past and possibly give you another chance. For now, let her heal.

Based on her actions, she still wanting to talk and spend time with you, it seems she still has feelings and attachment toward you. However, something is holding her back likely the fear that you might lie again and hurt her. That’s probably why she prefers staying connected and affectionate without putting a label on the relationship.

[Member]

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