[Jrob62290]

Ive been having trouble with my girlfriend, or now ex girlfriend. I’ve tried the no contact, but my Ex seems to want to still talk and hangout every now and then. About a month ago, we broke up. She was being distant and was unsure if she wanted to be with me because of her trust issues she has from our past. After we broke up, I tried being distant and it was working for the most part. She started to say I love you more, and how much she missed us, which she wasn’t doing when we were together. So, things went back to wasn’t doing when we were together. So, things went back to normal and yesterday we talked and we decided to call things off again. She loves me, but can’t get herself to move on from our past and trust me. That’s what is holding her back from being in love with me again. She still wants to hangout and each other. To her, she doesn’t have to trust me if we’re not together, but she can still have our relationship without really being in one if that makes sense. Yesterday, after i left her house we were texting and she said “whoever gets your love and heart will be the luckiest girl in the world”. I told her only you have my heart and will always. She also said ” I wish it was you too(about being together) but we can’t always get what we want”. and also said ” maybe in the future we can be together, but not now”. What should I do? She can’t seem to find it in herself to trust me

[CameronJason]

Yeah talking always works. that helps a lot for sort out all problems in relationship.

[Jrob62290]

We’ve talked about it some many times though, and I’ve been willing to do whatever it takes and have done so, i mean I’m still willing to show her that, but i feel like its on her now. She said I’ve done everything right and she just can’t trust me and she doesn’t believe she can ever trust me fully again. Thats why idk what to do. maybe take time apart and real time meaning no contact for a while? think that can work?

[Jrob62290]

April, do you have any advice for me?

[AskApril Masini]

You haven’t really said what you want….. do you want to be broken up? Or do you want to reunite?

Also, how old are you both, and how long did you date before breaking up? You wrote that she has trust issues from her past with you — fill us all in. What are the details of these trust issues. 😉

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[Jrob62290]

[quote=”April Masini”]You haven’t really said what you want….. do you want to be broken up? Or do you want to reunite?

Also, how old are you both, and how long did you date before breaking up? You wrote that she has trust issues from her past with you — fill us all in. What are the details of these trust issues. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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I want to be with her. Thats all I ever wanted. She is 22 and I am 25. I have lied about things to her from the first year of our relationship. There wass this girl i flirted with before we started dating. And She saw a flirty convo on Facebook. She saw that and was upset. I ended up going to a party she had just to hangout with all of my friends and didn’t tell her i went. She found out. Also, I lied about looking up other girls on Facebook and she saw that i looked up my ex. Also, i went on vacation with my friends and one of the nights the bars were closing and the only place open serving alcohol was this strip club. I didn’t do anything there, i just chilled and waited for my friends to want to go back to our condo. I just chilled with 3 of my friends while my other friends did there own thing. So, i lied to her about that and said i didn’t go and eventually I told her after she asked me for the 4th time 1 month later. Thats whats happened in the past. So, yeah. What is the next step?

[Jrob62290]

we’ve been dating for more than 3 years.

[AskApril Masini]

Got it. So you dated for 3 years, and she broke up with you because there were incidences where you lied to her about looking up women (including your ex) on Facebook, going to a strip club and not telling her where you were going. If that’s really why she broke up with you, and you want her back, it would seem that acknowledging and apologizing for that behavior that caused the break up is important, and then showing her that you’ve changed and are committed to being honest in a way that makes her feel secure, is what she’ll want to see to reconsider a reconciliation.

Hope that helps. 😉

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[Jrob62290]

I have done that. I have shown her and shown her. I told her all the right things. She just can’t seem to move past it. I’ve done it more than enough. I don’t want to give up, but idk what else to do. Because she said I’ve done all the right things. She just can’t get over it. What can I do?

[Jrob62290]

I have been honest and secure with everything I do.

[AskApril Masini]

If you’ve done everything possible, and she’s still not ready to trust you, then you have to accept the break up and move on. 🙁 It sounds like the lies she felt that you told, during the 3 years you were together, were the reason for the breakup. It’s often very difficult and time consuming to regain trust — and it requires both people in the relationship to want to stay in it and do the work. If one person isn’t all in, you have to accept that. Try to stay out of the friend zone by truly moving on — and if you want to ask her out again in six months, to see if she’s up for another try, you should do so. The silver lining is that you can use what you learned in this relationship, about being more honest, more often, in future relationships. 😉

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[Jrob62290]

Yeah that’s what I think is my only option at this point. Do you think it can help if she doesn’t have me, to help her realiZe she wants to be with me? It’s always been we would break up and then continue to talk and I would remain there for her and we would get back together. So maybe by cutting it off completely, it can help her with what she really wants? We haven’t talked in 3 days now so.

[AskApril Masini]

Yes — I think that’s a good idea.

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[AskApril Masini]

Yes — I think that’s a good idea.

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[Jrob62290]

We haven’t spoke in three days, I should wait for her to text me, right? And then still if she does text me, how should I respond?

[Member]

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