[Jerry]

You don’t need to ask him, because if he really likes you, he will say it himself and he will make an effort to pursue you.
You can still continue talking to him, but don’t close yourself off to other possibilities or other people you might date. Just stay open to whatever comes your way.
You don’t need to chase him or wait around for him—because that can really end up wasting your time.

[Jerry]

It means that you’re actually not fully okay with talking about each other’s sexual pasts, because if you were, you wouldn’t be affected by it. The fact that you are affected might mean you’re feeling jealous, or maybe even a bit turned off by your girlfriend.
But ideally, you shouldn’t be bothered by it anymore since it happened a long time ago and is already in the past.

[Jerry]

It’s simple—set boundaries and tell him that you’re not comfortable with him still talking to and meeting up with his ex. If he doesn’t respect that, then give him an ultimatum.

If you’re important to him and he truly loves you, he will choose you. This isn’t about controlling him, it’s about protecting your own emotions and peace of mind.

[Jerry]

First of all, the reason she rejected you is because she’s not interested in you as a romantic partner—she only sees you as a friend.
To make things clearer for yourself, try asking her out again on a proper date. If she agrees this time, then you still have a chance. But if she doesn’t, it means she’s really not interested, and she’s just being friendly.
So it’s better to stop overanalyzing and giving deeper meaning to her actions and behavior.

[Jerry]

Why don’t you just meet up instead of always only talking on the phone?

First of all, you need to improve yourself right now so you can convince him again that you’re still worthy of him, especially since lying was the reason why you broke up.

And this time, you should be more open with him. It’s important that both of you are open about everything, especially things that affect your relationship, so you can avoid misunderstandings.

[Jerry]

For me, that’s actually pretty normal, especially for teenagers who are still exploring a lot. They often think those kinds of things are “cool” or make them look interesting.

If you’re both truly mature now, then you wouldn’t do something like that anymore, and you also wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. You could just say it to her jokingly, like, “You wouldn’t do that anymore now, right?” so that you can still somehow get a sense of her answer.

[Jerry]

In my opinion, if you want to get out of the “friend zone,” you have to be willing to take a risk with the friendship. You need to level up the connection.
Try being a bit more flirtatious with him—that’s a signal that lets him know you’re interested and that he actually has a chance with you if you two go on a date. It helps change how he sees you, so you’re no longer just a friend in his eyes.

[Jerry]

Maybe to make things clearer for her, you should ask her on a proper, formal date and be honest about your intentions. It seems like you do like her and you’re serious about it, so why not show her that?
Since you’re the guy, try to take the initiative more often instead of getting affected by her mixed behavior. You’re still at the early stage, and things don’t always start smoothly. But the fact that things go well when you’re actually together is something worth considering.
Maybe you just need to put in a bit more effort and push a little further.

[Jerry]

You want to be honest about your feelings, but you’re unsure because you might end up hurting someone else. What you should do is choose what’s right—first, respect their relationship.
You were together before and it didn’t work out. Now that he’s with someone else, it’s better to let him be and not try to interfere or damage their relationship. That wouldn’t be fair to his current girlfriend.
You need to accept that maybe it’s just not the right time for the two of you. You’re both still young, and a lot can still happen. You never know—maybe in the future you might find your way back to each other. But right now, it’s not right to take steps to get back together with him when you know he’s already in a relationship.
Try putting yourself in his girlfriend’s position so you can better understand why it would be wrong to act on those feelings.

[Jerry]

You’re not being overly dramatic—there’s a real reason why you feel that way. This isn’t just about him staying up late while you go to sleep early. Something does feel off between your friend and your boyfriend, especially with how she’s not talking to you but is talking to him.
My advice is that starting now, you should set clear boundaries. Your friend should know that you and your boyfriend are together and understand where her limits are. Honestly, she should be talking to you more since you’re both women.
From my perspective, it seems like your friend might have some questionable intentions, so try not to trust her too much right away. That’s why it’s really important for you to set boundaries.

[Member]

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