[Sarah]

Try it for now because you don’t really have another choice, since you can’t just leave that house with your two children. For the moment, hold on to that option.
Then if nothing still changes, leave him. Maybe you have family or friends you can ask for temporary help. After that, sort out financial support for your children through legal means.

[Sarah]

That’s a difficult situation because he also can’t just neglect his children, so he’s really thinking carefully about whether the relationship will work. If he can’t give you enough time, that’s why he’s being honest about it.
His intentions are good, and he is being honest. You can still continue seeing each other, as long as you don’t expect too much attention from him, because you already understand his situation.

[Sarah]

I think you both need to talk about boundaries, especially since she said she understands you, so it won’t happen again. The situation before was different, and things are different now because you’re already in a relationship. That’s what commitment is for.

[Sarah]

It’s right that you’re thinking of ending it, especially if you can see that you’re the only one fighting for the relationship. Leave and go back to your own place. Show him that you can live without him and that you don’t actually need him.

Believe me, your husband might suddenly change his behavior and say he will change and ask you to come back—but I’m not saying you should go back, okay? That decision is still yours to make.

[Sarah]

Maybe he has a reason for that—maybe you should have asked him first instead of overthinking. For now, try to really figure out what you want and what your intentions are with him, so everything becomes clearer for you and you don’t get confused.

[Sarah]

There are some things that, no matter how much you force them, just aren’t meant to be. We don’t live in a world where we can get everything we want. Especially things that money can’t buy, even if you save up for them.
Do you understand what I mean?
Don’t waste your life just because of one guy. I know it hurts—I feel you—but you need to keep going. Maybe not now, but over time you will be able to move on. You just need to help yourself.
I’m sure you have family and friends who love you. You’re not alone.

[Sarah]

It can still be saved. Your communication is still good, and it’s clear that she still likes you. You just need to remove the fear that what happened before might happen again.
That’s why you’re both trying to change—so the same problems won’t happen again. The important thing is that you’ve both learned from it, so there’s nothing wrong with trying again.
You just need to help her overcome that fear and rebuild her trust, because her feelings are still clearly there.

[Sarah]

The problem is you already expected too much from this guy even though you don’t really know yet if he’s truly willing to date you or not. On top of that, he’s still abroad and you’ve only been talking for about 6 weeks.
From what I can see, he’s not really interested in you. I’m sorry, I know that’s painful to hear, but you need to hear honest opinions like this so you don’t keep hoping for something that isn’t there.

[Sarah]

Yes, let him go. He’s already showing you and telling you directly that he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, and now he even has someone new right away. What’s the point of fighting for your relationship anymore?
Protect your own self-respect too. Don’t chase after your boyfriend anymore.

[Sarah]

Maybe set a meeting with the three of you—her and your friend—and then confront them. If they deny it, show them the evidence.
It doesn’t really matter whether the way you found out was right or wrong; what matters is that you know the truth. They were the ones who did you wrong—they should be the ones who feel ashamed, not you.

[Member]

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