[Samantha]

If you don’t want to have sex with him, then he can’t force you, right? Unless you also want it but are just trying to avoid being tempted, which is why you want to cut ties with him even though you have children together.

But that wouldn’t be fair to the kids either, because they might also want to spend time with their father.

My advice is to be fair to both him and the children. Just set clear boundaries between you so he can’t take advantage or do what he wants.

[Samantha]

The question is: did you do that for him or for yourself? Because it feels like you still have feelings for him.

If you think about it, you shouldn’t really have any involvement in that situation anymore since you’re no longer together.

Also, it’s not really a good idea for you two to still be friends, especially since he already has a girlfriend. What would his girlfriend think.

[Samantha]

Actually, it’s not really mixed signals. He’s just scared that once you get what you want from him, you might lose interest.

So my advice is: show him that you’re not that kind of person. If you really like him, make it clear that you’re genuine and serious. Let him feel safe with you—that you won’t lie to him or hurt him.

[Samantha]

If you’re not sure, you should postpone the wedding for now. Getting married is not a small thing—you’re tying yourself to someone you’re not even certain you truly want to spend your life with, or whether his behavior will ever change.

But you should also know that no one and no relationship is perfect. You also mentioned a lot of good things about him.

However, if you really feel that the two of you won’t work because of your personality differences, then it may be better to step away early while it’s still early, rather than invest more time and money into planning a wedding only to end up breaking up eventually anyway.

[Samantha]

The solution here is actually simple. If you don’t want to be involved with a child, and you don’t want your boyfriend to have contact with his ex, and you don’t want to share his attention with them, then don’t date someone who already has a child. It’s that simple.

Because it’s not fair to expect your boyfriend to ignore his child, especially now that he is finally able to see her again. And it’s also not realistic for them not to communicate, since the child is only 4 years old and is under the mother’s custody.

So maybe it’s better to leave your boyfriend and find someone who is single and doesn’t have a child.

[Samantha]

It’s possible that what he said at first was true—that he really did like you and wanted something more serious. But it’s also not impossible for those feelings to fade quickly, especially if he suddenly met someone else he became more interested in.

But what’s clear now is that he’s no longer interested in you. So my advice is: don’t waste any more time on him and just move on.

[Samantha]

Six months is actually a very short time to end whatever you two have. He keeps bringing up so many “what ifs,” but they’re all negative. What if things actually work out? Didn’t he think about that too?

Maybe he just doesn’t like you enough, which is why he keeps focusing on all the negative possibilities. He could at least try and let time answer those “what ifs” for him.

He wants to become a police officer, yet he’s afraid to take a risk. How is he going to be a cop if he’s that scared to take chances?

[Samantha]

You should leave if you already see that your relationship is no longer healthy, especially if he is already threatening to kill himself. Leave while it’s still early.

Because next time, you might be the one dealing with PTSD from the trauma you’re going through with your partner.

Also, it seems like you still can’t afford to lose your widow benefits, and on top of that you’re dealing with a partner like this, so it’s really not a good idea for you to settle with him.

[Samantha]

Lol, he clearly likes you. He’s just being really obvious about it—those are his ways of getting your attention.

But honestly, what matters more is: do you like him too? Because it sounds like you’re the one who’s confused. If you don’t like him, then it’s nothing, right?

[Samantha]

You’re neighbors, right? So if you see her outside, just approach her and ask if it’s okay to get to know each other or be friends. If she agrees, ask for her number or Facebook so you can keep talking.

Then, once you’re both comfortable with each other and you really like her, you can ask her to go out—like a dinner date or coffee.

[Member]

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