[Stephen]

She wants attachment but without commitment. She may like you but the age gap is becoming an issue for her because she keeps mentioning it. It’s also possible that she feels comfortable with you, so even though she has a boyfriend, she prefers being with you and talking to you.

She might not want anyone controlling her, which is why she avoids commitment, she’s already content with the kind of connection you both have and is happier with your mutual understanding. For now, just try to understand her and support her. Go with the flow and wait until she shows you when she’s ready to commit to you.

[Stephen]

If he truly loves you, he wouldn’t ignore you like that without any clear reason. If he has a problem, he could at least tell you, and maybe you could even help him. But how can you help him if he’s avoiding you?
We don’t really know what happened to him, so it’s hard to judge. But even just one text would’ve been enough—if you still matter to him, he would let you know what’s going on.
At this point, I think you should try to move on for now while you still don’t have any news from him, because he might completely disappear and stop communicating. It would only hurt you more if you keep hoping and waiting.

[Stephen]

It’s no longer a good idea to go back to Kyle since you’ve already seen why you broke up in the first place—he seemed to lose interest, and it felt like you were the only one trying to keep the relationship going.
My advice is to move on from Kyle first, because it wouldn’t be fair to Steve, who sounds like a genuinely good and stable person based on your story.
Give yourself time to heal and gain clarity so you don’t end up hurting someone who is actually treating you well.

[Stephen]

In my opinion, when she said “break,” she probably meant she needs space to think clearly and process her feelings.
Given her past relationship experiences, it makes sense that she might feel overwhelmed or insecure sometimes. The best thing you can do right now is respect what she asked for and give her that space—don’t contact her for the meantime while she’s trying to sort things out.
Sometimes stepping back actually helps both people realize what truly matters in the relationship and whether they still want to continue.

[Stephen]

I think you really need space from each other—not necessarily to save the relationship, but for yourselves so you can both reflect.
Just because you love each other doesn’t automatically mean you’re compatible. In your case, you may love each other, but you don’t seem to agree on many things, to the point where it feels like you’re just waiting for the next fight to happen.
You really need time apart so you can realize whether you still want to continue the relationship or not. Because if you do want to make it work, you’ll both need to change how you behave toward each other in a healthier way.

[Stephen]

I think she is interested in you. The fact that she wanted you to add her on Facebook and invited you to her house party suggests that she wants to keep communicating with you.
You can start the conversation by asking how her day is going. Keep it casual and friendly at first. If things go well and you get a chance when she’s not busy, try inviting her out for coffee or dinner. That would give both of you an opportunity to get to know each other better and see if there’s a real connection between you.

[Stephen]

You said you’re a direct person, so be direct. If you like her, tell her plainly and without beating around the bush what you really want. If you want the relationship to become official instead of just flirting and talking, then say so. If you’re looking for something more serious, make that clear.
If she agrees, then great—you’ll know where you stand. If she doesn’t, then it’s time to move on. That’s really all there is to it.
It should be easier for you since you already said you’re the kind of person who prefers being straightforward and honest about what you want.

[Stephen]

Ouch. Maybe try flirting with him a little more—dress up, look your best, and be a bit more attractive so he might feel more tempted and unable to resist. I’m sure he wants that too; he might just be shy about it.

[Stephen]

It’s hard to believe that they are married but just “friends.” I think he is just leading you on, and it’s already been three years—yet you’re still choosing to believe what he’s telling you.
Also, you already knew he was married, and even though you said you don’t want to share someone, you still got involved with him. That’s also a decision that wasn’t right from the start.
If you decide to walk away, then you should completely let go and not go back to him again. Otherwise, you will never find peace in this situation. Imagine—three years have already been wasted because of him. There are so many other men out there, yet you’re choosing to stay in a situation like this.

[Stephen]

It’s actually not too early—11 months is already enough time. Some couples even move in together after just one month, and it works for them. It’s not really about how long you’ve been together, but about the chemistry you have and how well you get along when you’re together.

[Member]

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