[dymdeva]

You guys are sooo right! since the confrontation, he has been very cold to me. I can tell he feels sorry for the Ex who got beat up, even though she started it. He says I acted immature like a 14 year old and was stalking her house all night looking for a confrontation. I feel I was encouraged and egged on tho go there after all SHE CALLED ME from HIS phone and told me he was there. I had to see for myself! He says the only victim is his son. But what about me I am a victim too! I was happily in an engagement only to find out that it was all not completely honest with me, then she assaulted me first….
Anyways, I have since taken off the ring and I am preparing myself to exit this situation. They need to salvage their relationship for their child and they can do that without me. If this is what the Baby’s mother wanted by calling me in the first place, then she’s got it! She will sabotage EVERY relationship he seeks to have…
As for Me, 2010, New Year, New Job, New Status, No Looking back! Let them drag out their obvisously imperfect relation that didnt work out BEFORE I came into the picture and probably wont work out after I’m gone…..

[dymdeva]

Whew! where to begin?

Okay, so my “fiancee” said they were never married, so no divorce decree.
I did file a police report immediately afterward, and
I still dont know why he was sleeping there that night…

As far as the assault is concerned, It WAS self defense…I was sitting down and she came over and HIT me…so I guess there’s no wrong with me hitting her back right? The child was NOT there to witness the fight. So why should i apologize to someone who instigated the situation and got what they deserved? Finally I feel as though my “fiancee” now feels bad for the Baby’s mother and is feeling sorry for her, although he says it was her fault for initiating and instigating and lying about the situation…

I think I want to just fall back and let their situation heal, and see what happens in a couple of months (while still being engaged to him), If he loved me that much to propose to me, then he’ll love me more for letting them sort out their issues…..

[dymdeva]

Beautifully said, and absolutely right! Thanks so much…
You are right on the nose with this and it takes a complete stranger with whom you can be candid to just give you solid advice! I really reallly REALLY appreciate it!

[dymdeva]

Thanks for the reply! I truly agree with what you’ve said. But let me reiterate one thing: when he drops the baby off he doesnt SAY ANYTHING… he just comes over with him, and then leaves after ten minutes. While leaving his child behind. Its not like he even ASKS me once he’s there! And I feel bad, because I try to act cheery around the kid but I get so upset about having to watch him in the first place, that he probably can tell somewhat. And I like the guy and want to make it work, so I would hate for him to think that I just dont like his kid…
Also, he is in contact with the child’s mother, so why not have her stay home from work? Why Me? The mother probably doesnt even know that he leaves the child with me in this manner… I’m so frustrated!

[dymdeva]

Wow… Your Good!
I guess I knew it all along but needed to hear it from someone other than my mother. To add, He did ask me to marry him, and even put money on the ring that I picked out.. We have the date already and thought of the kind of ceremony we’d have, but I still dont feel like that is a true proposal until he PAYS FOR the ring and puts it on my finger…
Being married to him still wouldnt solve the way he sometimes acts towards me . It wouldnt magically change his personality either….But atleast I’d know he is COMMITTED to being there for me, my son, and the future baby. Plus my son LOVES him and he treats my son like one of his. But I must not be truly happy if I’m on the internet seeking answers.. (thank God for you!) 😆
I guess I should just chill out and be patient. If I dump him now, I could still have time to meet mr right and have another baby, I’m just scared that time is ticking plus with the operation coming up and all. This just seems like my last shot at having another biological child. But your right… I’m going to slow down and just pray on it. 🙄

[dymdeva]

Maybe he is Bisexual and his “cousin” is now his live in lover… how are they cousins? have you met any of his other family members to verify their relation? In this day and age many women seem to ignore or be just plain ignorant about men on the “Down Low”.

[dymdeva]

Maybe he is Gay? The lover accompanied him to your dinner date to verify there was nothing going on between you to.. and then left after he was secure in that…?

[Member]

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