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April Masini.
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December 25, 2009 at 10:43 pm #1894
goodangel36
ParticipantI’m a Junior (11th Grader) in Highschool, more than two months ago I was crushing on a guy who is in one of my classes, However I didn’t know if he likes me or not because I didn’t know him very well, We started doing projects together and we always ended up as partners because he wanted us to be, he also took a seat next to me in class even though he didn’t have to set by me, at sometime he would ignore me, but after a while he would come and talk to me, ask me questions and such, by time he started poking me, teasing me, joking around me, teasing me about other guys, touching me, and he whenever we would pass each other in the hall way he would bum bes into me on propose pretending that it was an accident even if it isn’t, he also started brushing against me and finding excuses to talk to me often or just a reason to hang out, at the beginning he would talk to me once in a while but gradually it became a daily habit and although we only have one class together he would talk to me when he sees me outside the class room, or just stare at me when I’m going to the opposite direction, I also noticed him staring at me sometime and when I would look at him he would turn his face quickly or he would just continue staring at me and smile. By that time he didn’t have a gf, he was single and I told him that I want us to be friends but I didn’t really mean it I just said so because I wanted him to hang out with me more, after I told him that he responded with the most ridicules excuse ever, telling me that he don’t want to have a girlfriend and he’s trying to stay away from girls because they influence him badly and make him do drugs and such, however I knew he was lying because the excuse was so silly it couldn’t be true, so days past and I got to know him better, we got to talk more, during the class period he won’t talk to anyone but me and he would ignore his friends just to talk to me, he would also always try to poke me and get my attention, Everything was going on fine, and one day I saw him hanging out frequently with this one girl but I didn’t thought of her as his gf because they didn’t seem like a couple, I share the last period with her and so I always see him walking her to the class and he starts flirting with her and he would look at me, however one of my friends told me that he stopped flirting with her when as soon as I was gone, so I supposed that he was trying to make me jealous, because it’s easier for him to go to his next class instead of coming downstairs to walk this girl and he knows that I’m there so I supposed that he was trying to get my attention no more, however I was greatly disappointed when I knew from my friend that the girl was actually his gf and that they were dating for sometime and that totally broke my heart because I had a crush on him for months, and though I was upset about it I tried to forget him because I didn’t want to be having a crush on someone else’s boyfriend, therefore I got over him completely and I thought we can still be friends after all, but when I tried to ignore him one time in class, he got kinda mad and upset about it because I didn’t pay him any attention and he was upset for a bit but he still continued talking to me and trying to get my attention by poking me and such, on the same day when I was passing the hall way he talked to me and when I was at my locker he came by and started talking with me even though it wasn’t the way that lead to his second hour, more and more he seems more interested in me and he wants to know more about me and always find excuses to touch me or just be around, I also found out that he changed his schedule for next semester so that we would have classes together, so my question is is it possible that he have a crush on me even though he have a gf or is he just doing this for fun? December 28, 2009 at 9:54 am #11999April Masini
KeymasterYes! Your friend likes you and he has a crush on you. 🙂 Since you’re in 11th grade, you’re probably 16 or 17, and so is your crush. Young men and women at that age are rarely on the same page when it comes to being mature, expressing feelings, communicating and being ready for a relationship. The confusion you’re feeling when it comes to your crush is because at age 16 or 17, he’s not quite sure how to handle his own emotions and his behavior. He’s doing the best that he can — but you’re a little more mature than he is right now, so you don’t understand why he’s not doing what you expect.
It helps to try and put yourself in his shoes — I know that’s a tough task, but try it. He doesn’t have a lot of dating experience under his belt, so even though he already has a girlfriend, he still likes you, and isn’t sure how to handle all that. He may like both his girlfriend and you – in different ways. He is most likely afraid of trying something new — namely dumping his girlfriend, with whom he has a comfortable relationship — in order to be your boyfriend, when he isn’t sure how that will work out for him.
He’s probably going to stay with his girlfriend until he is 150% sure that you will be his girlfriend and the two of you will have a nice relationship together. That’s going to make you confused, frustrated and impatient if you don’t empathize with him — so listen up! The one thing you need to learn about relationships is that any relationship is the sum total of two peoples’ feelings and behavior, so just because you’re ready, doesn’t mean he is. You’re going to have to wait, or move on.
My suggestion is you wait this one out because it sounds like you really like him, and he’s giving you some positive feedback about how much he likes you. If you and he were older, I’d say move on, but since you’re both teenagers, and are figuring out dating and relationships, give yourself and him some extra leeway. Wait for him.
The other constraint about being in high school is that somehow (
😆 ) everyone knows everyone else’s business. So if you start flirting with other guys while you’re waiting for your crush to come around and realize you’re the greatest girl ever, your crush may take your flirting with others for disinterest in him. It’s amazing how fast the gossip grapevine works in small, enclosed communities like high schools! So, wait for him, and keep giving him positive feedback and sending him signals that you like him and want to be with him — without jumping in his lap!😉 I hope that helps — good luck!
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