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April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › Her parents are tearing us apart

Her parents are tearing us apart

April Masini › Relationship Advice Forum › Relationship Advice Forum › Her parents are tearing us apart

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • December 24, 2009 at 10:09 am #1897
    robleclairo
    Participant

    Hey,

    I have been daring this girl for about 1 and a half years now and its starting to get pretty serious. Around a year when we started going out she started acting a bit strange. I finally got her to spill her beans about what was going on. Simply her parents do not want her to have a boyfriend. I was a little confused at first since she comes back and says her parents really like me but just don’t like the fact that she is in a serious relationship.

    Basically she clams that since her is so young (according to her parents) they do not want to be serious with anyone since she does not know what she wants…. oh ya did I mention she is 22! I am pretty sure that’s not young to be in a semi serious relationship. So for about a 6 months now she has been hiding our relationship from her parents and telling them we are broken up since really we are not.

    I am the typical small town guy dating the city girl so family is a huge thing for me and since I really do not have the approval of her family its really taking a toll on our relationship… if you can even call that. I think the hardest part of this is her and I love each other and its a third party that is tearing us apart.

    Just so you have some more background information both her parents have previously been married and divorced at a young age. So i can sorta see how they are trying to protect her but is this not a little excessive?

    Any suggestions cause I can see this tearing us apart very soon since its beginning to be a very big struggle????

    December 27, 2009 at 4:38 am #11932
    cutipie91
    Participant

    MIF SHE IS HIDIN THE FACT THAT U GUYS R DATING THEN SHE DOESNT LOVE YOU..LIKE U SAID SHE IS 22 SHE IS OLD ENOUGH NOW TO MAKE HER OWN DECISIONS..IF HER PARENTS BREAK U APART THEN WHAT WAS THERE REALLY?????

    December 27, 2009 at 8:35 pm #12913
    Anonymous
    Participant

    Hi,

    Seems like youre in a little bit of a pickle. Your girlfriend isnt ashamed of you in anyway, so if you have any remote feelings towards that, its not that at all. The pressure of the family disapproving of her relations with you, even though at her age its perfectly fine to be in a serious relationship, is weighing heavy on her. She mightve never shared any information as far as her “love life” with her family. So from her maturing and having interests with men then to being in a serios relationship is a shock to them. But even though they disaprove, she is a woman, she needs to take a stand to her family and let them know that she respects their thoughts and oppinions of the relationship but that does not give them room for her decision to be with you. You need to let her know that her doing that with her family, doesnt make you feel good, give her some time to man up and talk to her family brcause that will probably be a rough conversation for her, but if she doesnt budge it might be time to realize that you need to move on. I hope this helps. Good luck.

    December 28, 2009 at 3:52 pm #12362
    Cristi
    Participant

    I’m in a very similar situation. Im 21 & have a semi serious relationship with a guy who is 23 & my parents & i have fought about it. He is a great guy however my parents dont think he is good enough for me. I have had to stand up for my boyfriend & I’s relationship many times! It has come to yelling and crying and all of that! I have not even thought about hiding my relationship but I know from her side of view that it is very hard to constantly hear negative things about your relationship with someone you care about. It would be SO much easier on me if I lied to my parents & hid him, however I dont want to lie about my relationship. What I did to help get them off my case was just told them “I appreciate your concern and I see where youre coming from however this is somebody i care for alot and I will not be ending it because you dont approve. I would rather just not talk about this with you both any more, i know how you feel and theres no reason for us to continue fighing.” I truely care about my family and it hurts me that they wont back me up but at some point you have to stand up for yourself. yet family is not something to ever push away. You might want to suggest her going about it that way. but she should know that hiding a relationship is going to create trust issues with her family and they will thing shes doing something wrong by hiding it. you should not feel badly about yourself, but do try to win her parents over with respect & manners!

    January 1, 2010 at 10:44 am #12516
    kai
    Participant

    Hi, like i mentioned to several other posters — April has told everyone that [i]the welcome area is not to be used as the Q & A advice forum[/i]. [u]it even says “DO NOT post your questions” here[/u], when you go to sign up.

    i suggest you delete the questions you posted in the welcome forum and repost them in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum instead. [b]i doubt you’ll get a response to your question, from April. in the welcome area.[/b]

    January 23, 2016 at 11:04 pm #12437
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

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