Am losing my mind here…Desperately seeking your help, Apri

Dear April,
I am losing sleep over this guy. I think I am stupid for letting it get into my head but its taking over me; till I speak to someone who can set it straight for me. 😳
I found u in a search online and I read your amazing site. I think you can help me.

He is someone I met like 3 years ago. We met on Facebook.
He was 29, me 37. After chatting we finally met up with my other friends in tow one night. There was a immediate attraction (at least on my side) when I saw him & he seemed to act positively; though I am not sure if he acted in response to mine or he actually feel something too.
The evening went to the point we actually kiss and proceed to leave to go back to his place. But on the way, he stopped to say he can’t bring me back cus there was someone at home. Of course I was upset so left, he seemed to look sad too. And when I was back home a week later he asked me to speak to a lady friend of his who ‘has a emotional problem’ and hope I can help her, which I did. I spoke to her a few times and soon suspect that she and him has something going on. She was at that time, married to a pilot and from what she said to me I was convinced she would not leave her husband. Upon suspicion, I confronted him and asked what was their relationship, he fessed up that they were sleeping together. I told him frankly that the woman will not leave her husband for him and merely using him for sex.
He was furious and cut contact for couple of months. And soon after he made contact again to tell me I was right. But he did love her. I forgave him easily and still fond of him today. Though in between we had a few arguments but we remain talking pals. I saw he went out with different women in his photo albums on Facebook but stopped looking soon after cus it hurts me. 2 years ago I met my husband. Before I marry him last year, the guy in Hong kong said he love me outta the blue during one of our random chats on msn.
To protect myself & that I already have a fiance, I just laughed it off, saying that he was messing around. But soon I cannot keep up the pretense and messaged him that I love him too on facebook, that I think he was just playing game with me. He replied, saying I was being silly and will talk more next time. But did not get around to doing it.
I can’t say my husband and I are happy for over a year now (though we still proceed to marry in September). I am on who need physiclal intimacy to feel loved, attractive and needed; which I think is a common issue among many frustrated married women. He is constantly feeling stress from work and would spend his energy after work at the gym then come home sit in front of the computer till its time for bed. He could not give me what I need to feel happy in the relationship; and its not that I did not try to do something about it. I tried to kill myself at one point cus I felt ytterly miserable, and I think 40 year old is no place to start a new relationship again We went counselling, that did not help much. Right now, I feel that we are both living under a roof like housemates than married couple.
Just 2 nights ago, like the many times he made contact, the guy in Hong Kong asked me again when will I be back in Hong Kong. He said he won an award and was heading my way so hope to catch up. I said I moved and will not be there, so he asked ‘when you coming back then? I am living alone and moved to a new place myself. just time to do my work and riding my bike to chill out’.
It did hit me he is TELLING me that he is single and hinting he is not in a relationship. But I did not want to big things up in my mind so I moved the messaging along.
I was surprised he was alone because he’s popular with women; joke that women will throw themselves on him then asked if he missed me (expected him to ignore the question, though fingers crossed that he would say he did), he said SO MUCH (I was very pleased but yet something inside me makes me skeptical).
I wish him well in his stint, told him his happiness means a lot to me & to keep it up at work.
In his reply to that, he wrote, ‘Im going to chase down the girl I’ve always loved’.
I asked who. He said he want to ‘TALK FACE TO FACE’, told me to make contact once I’m in Hong kong. Even when I press further, he said ‘I want her too much to just talk about her’.
Though he is not the type to keep in constant contact, he has told me before its hard to start anything with me cuz I am not in Hong Kong.
Now that I moved further and married (and he knows that already), I wonder why would he still ask me to meet up every time we talk online.
I must say there were no ‘kisses’ or my usual pet names. Just referred to me as ‘you’ and ‘princess’.
In the last couple of years when we communicate, he wud call me ‘piggie’, ‘monkey’. And occasionally he wud send a ‘x’ (kiss). Though it should not matter, but it did.

I was sleepless wondering if its me he meant.
Or am I just his ‘love guru’ (when I helped him sort out the married woman), and asking to meet up to talk about his new conquest who he cannot get his head around.
Really need someone to talk about this. Please help me…
Thank you.

Lost, Yanna ❓