[sue26]

Hi im a relationship and am due to get married in a few months. I have know for a while my fiance watches a fair bit of porn and we have talked about it. He insists its just like a fantasy thing and doesnt change how he feels about me in anyway. But recently have notised on my computer he has going on affair chatrooms looking for some discreat fun. Im worried about this and not sure what to do if I bring it will he think im spying on him or do I just trust that this maybe a fantasy thing 2 and he really eont cheat. Thing is im going for a few days soon and have a horrible feeling he may do something. Help really need advise please 🙂 thanks

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Trust your instincts.

Know that most men like to look at women’s bodies — and that should clue you in to help yourself make your body one he really wants to look at first and foremost! 😎 If a man admires another woman, or if you admire another man, it shouldn’t affect the relationship if all else is equal, but it sounds like your boyfriend has taken his interest in looking at other naked women a step beyond that. Interactive relationships with other people — even if they’re anonymous — is really just a step away from meeting up with these people.

That you’re afraid to leave town because you think he’s going to cheat on you is really reason to put the brakes on this marriage and get to know your fiance a little better first. This may be an unfounded fear, but from what you describe, I think you may be on to something unpleasant. Learn more and don’t rush into marriage just yet.

I hope that helps.

And I hope you’ll check me out on AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Doris28]

Hi Sue26,

I am waiting on a post I just submitted that is similar to yours but I am married now. I would definitely hold off because now the fear for me is divorce. I did confront my fiance and (now)husband about porn issues and he said he would stop…but he hasn’t. There have been many instances and now I don’t know if I should leave him or not because I can’t trust him. We’ve only been married one year. I wish I would have thought twice when I caught him while we were engaged. Please take my advice and don’t rush into marriage!!

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

[b]Doris28[/b] gave some good, personal advice. Sometimes looking at naked women is more than just a simple pleasure — it can be an addiction and any addiction, whether it’s to porn or substances like alcohol or prescription pills or illegal drugs — can be the downfall of a relationship, and the person who’s addicted. Without help someone who’s really addicted to porn needs tremendous strength to get out of a downward spiraling cycle.

Decide where your man is in this spectrum of behavior when it comes to porn.

I hope that helps. 🙂

And don’t forget to join me on Facebook — I want to see you there!! The link is right here: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Stephanie Ellise]

Trust your instincts. If a man admires other women maybe it doesn’t automatically harm the relationship but your boyfriend’s behavior seems to go further than casual interest and that fear you have about him cheating if you leave town is a a valid feelings. Most men always notice women’s body so focus on making yourself attractive but don’t rush into marriage until you feel secure.

[Amanda]

As long as he is not cheating, I think you really don’t have anything to worry about. Just don’t overthink it for your own peace of mind as well.

[Member]

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