Relationship Advice Forum with April Masini

I Bee-Lieve

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Jealous of girlfriends past

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  • November 23, 2010 at 11:09 pm #3109
    relationshipa1
    Keymaster

    So I’ve been dating my gf for 7 months now and overall its great. We love each other very much. But im finding out that I get very jealous.
    Here’s the situation. I see this guy in her facebook pictures that she kisses and is with in tons of pictures from about 2 months before I met her or so. I ask her about him and she says that she never hooked up with him. Im immediately skeptical. Then a couple weeks later he texts her something pretty innocent. I confront her about it nicely, and she says that she did make out with him a couple times, but its not big deal. So I got over it.

    Next, my girlfriend insists on telling me her facebook password. I didnt want to hear it, but she told me anyway. So yesterday, I logged on to her facebook and looked in her messages. I know I probly shouldnt have, but I couldnt help myslef. Anyway, I search for messages from this guy, and sure enough, there are tons of love messages back and forth. They clearly had a pretty subsantial relationship going on. She used very strong terms of endearment, saying she loved him and so and so and that hes her “babyboy forever”. Alot of the stuff they say to each other is just as strong if not stronger than the stuff that WE say to each other. She also calls him a sex god. So I’m shaking im so mad and jealous.

    One of the messages to this guy was after we started dating, and she didnt say she loved him or anything, but she described a weekend that she spent with me in my hometown and completely left me out of the story and just said she was visiting this place.

    Well shes never done anything while we were dating to get me too jealous, but why would she lie about having a relationship/sex with this guy? Am I crazy? I havent said anything to her about it, but its eating me up inside.
    What DO I DO?

    November 25, 2010 at 12:50 am #16840
    wayvjay
    Participant

    Hey Dude !

    Totally agree with where your coming from !

    If you really care about someone , that sort of thing has got to affect you or your not quite in touch

    Dont know what to advise you , will take someone wiser than me but really hope someone does as I can feel your pain

    …. maybe take a step back and spend a lot more time with your friends so you can see the forrest for the trees

    Maybe when your a little detached she will see what she could possibly loose and shake this guy or maybe you will decide she isnt the one

    I personally would pack a jelouse fit and spit the dummy

    W

    November 25, 2010 at 1:51 am #16064
    wayvjay
    Participant

    Been thinking about your predicament and think you should keep things cool but keep reading her facebook but dont tell her

    If you see signs of unfaithfullness like “I still love you”

    …Get out of there !

    …If she says “Ive met the one and have to cut ties “

    You know that your relationship is real

    Wayne

    November 28, 2010 at 11:22 pm #17129
    April Masini
    Keymaster

    I think it’s time to tell her what you saw and ask her for clarification. It sounds like an innocent explanation is that she did have a relationship with him BEFORE the two of you dated and didn’t tell you everything about it because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But now that you’re so interested in knowing the whole truth and nothing but the truth 😆 it’s important for her to be completely honest with you so you don’t drive yourself crazy wondering.

    Sometimes men — or women — have a hard time understanding that their girlfriends have had lives before they came into the picture. It’s understandable that you want to be the only man she’s ever been with, but it isn’t realistic. She probably senses this. What’s important to discern is that she didn’t cheat on you during your relationship. If you can get some answers and make sense of the fact that people bring baggage to their relationships, you’ll find yourself some peace.

    I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001113133958[/url].

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