Limitations of a break

Dear April,
My name is Jen, and about a year ago (November 2009) I started dating a guy. He has always been a sweetheart, short temper but I’m very happy with him. He is a year younger than me. I am a freshman in college and he is a senior in high school this year (I’m not 3 hours away). We’ve been having a really rough time (his feelings of abandonment are extreme). This past Thursday he got furious with me because he thought I hacked on his Facebook even though it was actually his younger brother and he stopped talking to me for the weekend. Then yesterday he texted me and we started talking again. This has been going on for weeks, he’ll get upset about something, stop talking for a few days, then text me. We haven’t been officially boyfriend and girlfriend since September 9th when he broke up with me. We’ve just been testing the waters and seeing where it goes since then. Well like I said, Thursday night he ended all communication with me saying things such as, “Fuck you, Fuck off, I want nothing to do with you and I will never speak to you again.” So call me crazy, I thought we were finished for good. Friday night I kissed another guy. A friend of mine from high school. Well tonight, my ex told me that he made out with another girl and it didn’t feel right and that he told her about me and that him and I were still sort of an item. I was completely calm about the situation, I told him that crap happens and we were on a break so I’m not going to freak out about something that I can’t change. And then he said, “Is there anything I should know that you did?” So I told him about me kissing this other guy and he freaked out! He honestly went berserk. He was so angry with me and once again told me he is ending all bits of communication with me. He wants nothing to do with me. I have never experienced him this angry in our entire relationship. When I asked why I’m in the wrong when we both did the same thing he told me it was because he broke up with me so I guess I was expected to sit on the sides and wait for him. What can I do? I’d rather not hear the basic “stop talking to him he’s not worth it” which is all I hear from my girlfriends. He means a lot to me, I’d like to know what I need to do to get him to either forgive me, or understand why he’s just as much wrong as me. Once again: We have been broken up since September 9. He’s very important to me and I love the time I get to spend with him (though I haven’t seen him in a month), but now that he’s this angry I’m afraid he’ll do something drastic with another girl again. Is there anything I can do as a wake up call that I’m tired of his “boy who calls breakup” game? And the truth is, I really am devastated that he made out with another girl, breakup or not… It still hurts and even though I expressed that I was calm deep down I want to tear my hair out. Please help me!! I need it.