You’ve been together for 3 years, but married for 18 months, and your child is 18 months old, so I’m guessing you got married because you were pregnant or you got married and got pregnant right away. In either case, that means you didn’t have a lot of time to explore marriage before adding in a child — and [i]any[/i] family with a new marriage and a new baby or toddler is going to be under duress. It’s very normal. The problems you’re talking about can be addressed and even overcome, but only if you’re both willing to do some work. Not all the work, but some — you have to be willing to meet at a middle ground and you have to want the same outcome.
Here are a few tips: 1) Have sex. You’re probably both doing so many things for others (the baby, the bank with your mortgage, your careers) that you don’t have time for the relationship. Plan sex. Have it even if you don’t feel like it. Get a babysitter, enlist Grandma — and have a glass of wine or two with a nice, easy dinner and a bubble bath with candles and have sex. You’ll both feel better about the relationship and yourselves. Sex is important in marriage and it’s an easy fix if you’re committed to it. 2) Give your spouse one compliment a day and make it a doozy! Tell him how awesome he is in bed, or how you forget how truly handsome he is. Make him feel good about the relationship and himself in it. It will prove contagious — I promise. 3) Show affection outside of the bedroom. Hold his hand. Hug him in the kitchen. Touch him affectionately because he’s a good person and you love him. And TELL HIM you love him.
These are 3 cheap, easy and effective ways to get things back on track. Try them — and let me know how it goes.
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