I’m sorry you lost the baby six weeks ago. That’s got to be devastating — and not just for you. Your husband is clearly acting out, and although you found out that he’s on dating sites and seeing what may be a prostitute, by snooping…. you have to talk to him. Admit what that what you did was wrong and prepare for him to make that the focus of his feelings. He’s going to lash out and project his anger at being found out, onto you. Let him. Don’t argue. Just apologize and let that storm blow over so you get to the bottom of what’s going on. Unless there’s a history of this, I think that he’s having complicated feelings about the loss of the pregnancy and his role as a man in that scenario, as well as in the marriage to someone who’s going through this as the mother. Don’t underestimate the impact losing the pregnancy has on the father. If you can get him talking about what’s going on and what he’s looking for, you may be able to help him heal and help the marriage heal, as well as yourself.
I know you’re worried about getting pregnant again, after losing the pregnancy at 15 weeks, and because you’re 37 and not 27, but wait. This is not a scenario in which you should be trying to get pregnant. You have to create stability in your marriage first. This is going to be a challenge, and it’s going to seem unfair, but you don’t want to bring a child into an unstable or failing marriage, and you have to take care of your relationship with your husband in order to be a good parent. So focus on the marriage, and let me know if you have any more questions.
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