[Anonymous]

Last year my wife got a new job and had to go away for training for a month. When she came home things were a little weird and I confronted her about it. We talked and worked on things. This year she had to go away for the second phase of training for 3 weeks. Things didn’t seem as weird as last year but there were still som issues. There is one guy she works with that she is friends with and I am a bit leery of him and don’t trust him. Yesterday my wife tells me there is a rumor in their office that they slept together. First of all, why did she tell me this and secondly it made me wonder if my suspicions were true. I know rumors can be made by anyone but what if there was reason this rumor was created? I am not sure if I am making this a bigger thing than necessary but I am curious as to how to approach this.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think that given what you’ve written, you’re letting your imagination run wild. If she was really having an affair, I don’t think she’d tell you that there’s a rumor in her office that she’s having an affair. In addition to which her actually telling you this is a way of sharing with you what’s going on in her office. Instead of feeling uncomfortable, why don’t you ask her how that makes her feel, knowing that rumor is going around? Being apart for the three weeks she’s working out of town separates the two of you. Your job now is to re-build intimacy and your relationship. Focus on what you do know — that she’s home; she’s given you no reason to think she’s anyone’s but yours, and she’s sharing things with you.

I hope that helps.

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[Anonymous]

Thanks for your advice and you are probably right. We talked more last night and that helped. She was upset but is chalking it up to the creator’s immaturity. We both feel we know who may have started it (one of her work “friends” who I have met and seems to like drama).

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think it’s great that you’re talking. That’s a good start. Now don’t lose that momentum. Build towards greater intimacy. Take her out on a “date”. Try and take her side rather than put her on the defense when possible. And I bet things will get a LOT better faster.

I hope that helps! 🙂

Join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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