[Anonymous]

I am in my mid 20’s and she is in her early 20’s we have been in a relationship for 3 years. However very recently and very fast things changed. Stress has started to get to me and we hit a little bit of a funk. Then something clicked in me and I started asking is this what I want. For the past week we havent talked much at all. The more I look at things with us the more I dont know what to do. Since we have been togther fora long time I am not as close with my friends as I once was and I dont have any people to really talk to. I really need some advice and someone to talk to. Feel free to e mail me at skate307@yahoo.com. I would really appreciate it

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think the big problem here is that you’ve lost touch with your friends. No adult, romantic relationship is supposed to be at the exclusion of friends and family. It’s very romantic to think that one person can be everything to you, but the reality is that it’s an unfair burden for either one of you to put on the other one. You both need your friends and family in addition to each other.

Spend some time re-connecting with your friends and family. You don’t have to do it at the exclusion of your girlfriend, but before you do anything rash with her, spend a month hanging with friends and also “dating” your girlfriend again. Do things with your girlfriend and your friends and family.

It will probably take a little work for you to get back on track with your friends — in fact if you’ve ignored them for 3 years so you could be solely with your girlfriend, you may have lost them! If that’s the case, cultivate some new ones. Go out with some co-workers or neighbors. Call up an old friend to get together.

See if after you do reunite and re-claim this part of yourself that you lost, you don’t feel better about your girlfriend.

[optimistvik]

hi , try to reconnect with your friends first it will clear many things in your mind and will relax you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Zennon]

What you should do depends on what you want to happen. If you want to fix your relationship, you need to talk about the problem you are facing right now. Have a proper, calm, and respectful conversation first.

If there are mistakes, admit them and make sure they won’t happen again. You need to learn from whatever mistakes were made that led to this situation, especially since you have already been together for 3 years.

Don’t worry, it’s normal for relationships to go through problems. What matters is how you handle the situation so you can resolve it quickly.

[Member]

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