[MooMoo43]

So there is guy in work I fancy. He works as a Recruitment lead and I work as a team leader in another department. Lately there has been this energy between us (Note: it might just be me THINKING this) and one of my colleagues noticed this too without knowing that I fancy him! The other day when the guy came over to me, said something and then walked away my colleague said: what was THAT? The other day I made some cupcakes and he had one and rang me and asked me in a jokingly way if I was married (as he liked the cupcake that much), after a short chat we hung up. A week later I made some more cupcakes and thought I would leave one for him. I emailed him saying I wanted to give him first refusal on the last cupcake. He then responded later that he just got back from meetings, bla bla and if the cake was still there. It was and he emailed back saying, brilliant I will call in a bit and then collect it. As I did not want him to come over (people on my floor gossip) I said that I will bring it down to reception so he can pick it up from there as he is located on the ground floor. After lunch time he rang, did not leave a message. I then emailed him to say that the cake was now at reception. I never rang him back as I only saw his missed call just before going home. Next day, the cupcake was still at reception, so he never picked it up! He did not even emailed back to say that maybe he had forgotten or something. Nothing since then, no email, no call, ignoring me during lunch in the sense that he did not even approach me to say sorry about the cake. The next day he saw me at the train station (I was with 2 colleagues) and I passed him and he did not even say hello (ok, I was ignoring him as well at this stage).
I would like to know what this means please? Any other person (woman or man) would have had the courtesy to email back the next day at least to say sorry or something.
Now, question is, is he bit interested and angry that I closed the door on him for coming over to my desk and that I was adamant to leave it at reception or is he just one of these guys without any manners?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He wanted to come by and chat with you at your desk. 😳 But he felt relegated to unimportance when you told him you’d leave the cupcake for him with the receptionist. It wasn’t the cupcake he wanted. It was you. 🙁

Men like to chase women and win them over. When you take charge and change the game, instructing them what to do, you take the opportunity to chase you away from them. Next time, take [i]his[/i] lead — a little gossip in the office isn’t going to hurt you.

When he saw you at the train station, you ignored him, sending him the signal you weren’t interested. A big, warm smile would have been a sign you were happy to see him! 😉

If you’re still interested, next time you see him, consider letting him know you like him by flirting with him, and let him lead. 🙂

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[MooMoo43]

Thanks April.

He has a habit of not coming back with things though.
The other day I sent him an email with my friend’s CV (this was actually when I did not fancy him yet) and I asked him when I passed him that day if he could have a look. He said: sure, email it over and I will see if there any roles open. He never got back to me not even to say sorry no roles available or CV was not right.
Then one day he was at the coffee machine and said that he had some CV’s that I might be interested in as he was just presenting the company at a recruitment fair. I said: sure, email them to me. He never got back to me.
I only remember these two things today actually and I can see a trend here, don’t you? Both occasions was when I did not fancy him but there was already this weird tension between us but only slightly.

I will probably have a team member leaving in the next few weeks and will need to interview new candidates with him (dreading this after the cupcake fiasco).
I am not sure how to approach him (or not) or just ignore what happened with the cupcake. I know you said to smile to him and let him know that I am happy to see him but from my point of view I am pretty disappointment (if not angry) that he never came back to say: thanks but I forgot about the cake. Remember this guy does not know I fancy him (well maybe now he does after I offered him that last cupcake) and any other normal person would come back if not that day then the next day.

What will I say if he only apologizes in a few week?

Thanks April.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he’s a flake. Anyone who doesn’t follow through on the business issues you mentioned has some inklings of irresponsibility. If the cupcake incident was just him being flakey, then maybe he’s not really someone you should be getting involved with anyway. Dating is a process where you get to figure out if someone is a possible Mr. or Ms. Right. Sometimes you learn about a person before you even go on a date. I think you’re figuring out something you don’t like about him. Imagine if the two of you were dating and he stood you up every now and then because it didn’t occur to him to get back to you or even to show up?

Rather than be disappointed or angry at him, be glad that you’ve figured out who he is before you invested too much energy or time or money in dating someone who you now know isn’t right for you!

And although you have to work with him, you don’t have to consider the cupcake situation a “fiasco”. Let it roll off your back and find the humor in it. It’s only a fiasco if you’d planned the wedding! Get a little perspective and don’t let it get to you. Back to business with this guy, and save your cupcakes for someone who appreciates them. 😉

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