[Anonymous]

Dear April,

4 months ago my ex and I got back together after being broken up for a year and a half. We had been together 4 years before we broke up. The timing was off and we wanted different things back then. We decided to give it a second chance, and so far so good. He truly is making a great effort in working through things and showing me how much he appreciates what we have. However, there is something that bothers me about him, and we often discuss this. He takes his sweet time letting anyone know he has a girlfriend, and that we’re back together. So far he’s told his father and 2 cousins. I understand that he feels he likes his privacy, and he says he will soon tell the rest of his family. I want him to not only tell all his family, but friends and co-workers when the topic comes up in conversation. I tell him this is important to me even if it isnt to him, and that I feel it validates my existance in his life, I don’t want to be hidden away. How much longer should I give him to tell people about us? Do I make this an ultimatum? Thanks for any advice you can give.

[Ask April Masini]

Absolutely do NOT make an ultimatum. 😳 In fact, take a step back and understand that his decision to tell people that you’re back together and dating is personal and it’s HIS decision. Don’t force him or make him tell people about the two of you. It sets up a bad relationship dynamic. Instead, recognize that this is an opportunity for you to get to know him better and understand how HE feels about the relationship. When a man is serious about you, he’s going to let people know you’re a couple because he’s secure and proud of the relationship. If he hasn’t done this, he’s not ready yet. Don’t force him into something he isn’t ready to do. It will backfire on you. You’ve made your feelings about his behavior clear. Now sit back and watch.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

And please join me on Facebook. I’d love to see you there at AskApril.com on Facebook. You can join in for free at this link: [url][/url].

[Author]

Posts