[Anonymous]

I am currently in a long-term relationship with a guy who I am no longer in love with, and I plan on breaking up with him very soon (I am moving to a new city soon and am waiting until then to end things). About 2 months ago I met a new guy. We have an instant, intense chemistry. Since we met we have been hooking up once or twice a week. We always spend the night together, cuddling and talking and making love multiple times. He is very kind and considerate to me in many ways: he gives me his coat if it is cold even if that means he must go without, and he always cooks breakfast for me himself.

For example, one night I apparently blacked out at a party and called him because I needed help. He picked me up, took me home and helped me while I vomited. He even cleaned up my vomit off of my own bathroom floor. (It was quite embarrassing but he was very sweet to me). He wasn’t tired and could have gone back to the party but he chose to stay with me all night instead. The next morning we made love several times but I had to leave for work. When I came home he had even made my bed for me.

However, we never “hang out” together — we only meet up if we are planning to immediately have sex.

Also, he is always trying to convince me to break up with my boyfriend now instead of later, but he says it is because he thinks I “need to be single for awhile.”

I just can’t tell if he has “feelings” for me or not. If he didn’t, I don’t think he would cuddle and take care of me like he does. I’m not sure what he wants. What do you think?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The best way to find out if he wants to be more than friends with benefits is to make yourself available as a potential date! He’s not going to ask you out properly because he knows you have a boyfriend that you’re cheating on with him. That’s not a great advertisement for yourself as a girlfriend. 😕 He’s got to be wondering if you’d do that to him if he were your boyfriend.

My advice is to break up with your boyfriend now, and make yourself available as a girlfriend — not just a serial one night stander! The truth is that men WANT to work for a date and they WANT to win you over. They have sex with women because they can. This guy is showing signs of liking you because he cleans up after you — but he could also just have a little obsessive compulsive disorder and dislike messes! 😆 So don’t read too much into his cleaning up after you.

Take a look at the book, Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], for more advice on finding, getting and keeping Mr. Right. It will show you exactly how to behave if you want to know if a man likes you as more than a friend.

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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