[ls223]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We first got together when I was in my first year of undergrad and he in his last. However, we had known each other for 4 years. We have so much in common it’s crazy. I love his family and they love me and same goes for him with my family. He makes me laugh and smile every day, treats me like a princess, and I love his values/goals/etc. At the beginning we took things pretty slow but then it was hard to, we just kind of knew we are the meant for each other. We’ve already talked about getting married. That might seem silly since it’s only been 8 months and that’s the “honeymoon” stage, but when you know you know. Everyone else agrees we’re amazing together and thinks we are going to get married. I had to move back home for the summer and we didn’t see each other every day like we had been. At first it was really tough on us both and we’d always say how much we missed each other and loved each other. We both got use to it though and those mushy texts and phone calls ended. Recentley thought I started feeling like he wasn’t as sweet as he use to be and didn’t enjoy being around me. When I confronted him about it we had a good conversation. He told me that when he just gets super comfortable around someone he gets that way. I told him all my feeling about how it made me feel and he said he was really sorry, he didn’t mean to be that way, and he even asked his mom for advice because he felt so bad. I think the distance has been more tough on me. I still worry that he’s going to stop loving me or he’s not going to want to get married, even though he’s made it clear he’s not ever going to change his mind. I also think it has to do with the fact that several of his friends are engaged (like at least 4 or 5). One more just got engaged last night and he told me don’t expect to get engaged anytime soon like this fall. Which I know would be too soon anyways, but still kind of hurt my feelings. He’s told me before though he’ll probably propose to me in 2012. I know my worrying starts to bother him. He always says he wished I would just stop worrying and I wish I could too! I know I need to just enjoy our relationship now and not worry about the future especially since I’m only a college sophomore, but for some reason I still can’t stop. Any advice?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Worrying is one thing — nagging is another. If you worry, that’s an internal problem. But if you’re acting out on your fears then you WILL push him away.

I’m not sure what the source of your fear is, but the reality is that he may or may not propose to you, and trying to force him to is going to backfire on you. People say things and sometimes follow through and sometimes don’t follow through. In fact, even after marriage, divorce does happen to many people. So you have to be a little more realistic about relationships in general.

That said, if you feel like he’s losing interest in you and not treating you as specially as he once did…..remind him how special you are by making him feel like he’s thrilled to have you as his girlfriend. Flirtation and seduction tend to fade with time — and it takes work in a relationship to keep the spark alive, and sometimes even to reignite it. So focus on what YOU can do to make him fall more in love with you. 😉

As for his friends getting engaged — his comment to you was understandably hurtful, but think about why he said it. His reaction was to being pressured. He needed to push back and he hurt you in order to give himself some space. Don’t make him feel like he HAS to marry you. That’s not how you want to be married, anyway! You want someone to be willing to crawl through broken glass to marry you — not have a rifle at his head as he chokes out vows.

I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[mysterymami]

I agree with April for sure. Do not nag this man! I lost a really great guy bc of nagging and clingyness. Men absolutely hate that. If he says that he wants to be with you but is not ready to be engaged, back off a bit and try to be more positive instead of casting all of your thoughts and worries out on him. You are probably moving out of the honeymoon phase and so naturally all the mushy, gushy stuff decreases. Its not because he doesn’t want you or is losing interest. I am sure of that. Be the person he fell in love with and counteract some of those worries/negative thoughts with positive ones. Remember this too…Men love a confidence! Be confident in yourself and your place in his life.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[b]Mysterymami[/b] gave you great advice! 😀

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