[Anonymous]

Hello April,

a couple months ago my ex and i broke up and she wouldnt tell me why. but im figuring it out little by little. but long and short of it. I was making her feel inferior without knowing it (she changed jobs because of stress and i didnt think it was a big deal, and she didnt like the idea of me going back to school and getting a higher level education than her). but anyway. we got along great till the breakup and we fought like crazy afterwards but mostly because she kept sending me mixed signals. kinda like she regreted it but her pride stood in the way either way i made it clear that i still wanted to be together and i tried often to get back some really personal items i gave her (high school ring). but about 2 months ago she got together with an old boyfriend and made a point to make sure i knew(whom she was with when we met) but broke up after a month. and right after we had a huge argument over stupid things. and she stopped talking to me. and every couple of weeks i would try to contact her to try to get my ring back or just to make contact and after about a month of not trying to contact her i sent her a really heartfelt email telling her i was sorry for everything and that i still love her.just the other day she started to talk to me again. and i found out she shipped me my ring 5 days after sending my email (she doesnt check it often). and she told me she is still mad at me but shes willing to talk to me. she also told me she recently got together with a friend of hers whom i never liked (when we were together he refused to meet me, right after our breakup he would take her to watch the sunset and if she was sad because of me he would buy her flowers). and he just has a really bad vibe if you know what i mean. but my question is, is there still hope for us. i really care about her, and even though its been four months i still cant picture myself with any other girl. and i have tried being with other gals, even slept with other girls. but at the end of the day she is still the only girl i think of. so is there still hope. and if so how can i go about getting her to trust me again. and love me again.

P.S the ring thing goes deeper. she cant wear necklaces because of a tramatizing event when she was 16. she turned my ring into a necklace and wore it every day and night. and when she got back with her old boyfriend she wore one he gave her for thier six month. but she couldnt wear it when she slept. she made a point to tell me that.
thanks

[Badfinger]

You can’t make someone LOVE you, first of all.
You’ve been in a yo-yo romance with her, give her some SPACE and time.
Doubtful this is going to improve though and keep looking, heartbreak takes time to heal.

Your P.S. broke logic rules, care to edit that? (not sure why you mention it though)

[Ask April Masini]

Since she didn’t tell you why she was breaking up with you it sounds like she’d just had enough of whatever was bothering her and didn’t want to work things out. If someone at least lets you know why they’re moving on, they’re giving you the courtesy of understanding their actions. It sounds like whatever her reasons, she has decided to move on and has done so, and isn’t interested in getting back together. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop contacting her and stop keeping her in the back of your mind as a way out of having to move on.

Break ups are supposed to hurt and feel uncomfortable, but there is no shortcut through them. The more you keep lingering in her periphery the more pain you’re going to experience.

Long story short, I don’t think you can get her back because she doesn’t seem interested. I’m sorry.

I hope that helps. Let me know how you’re doing and I hope you’ll join me on Facebook, too. Here’s that link: [url][/url].

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