[Anonymous]

(Repost in the correct section)

Hey ^^ Thanks for reading my post, have no one else to really turn to about this problem.
Not knowing where to start I’ll start from the beginning.
I’m a 20 year old guy from NY. Me being a Social anxiety, Geek, guy I never really had much luck with girls to begin with. When I even thought about walking up to a girl I’d freeze up and become petrified. So I tried my luck with online dating. I found a girl that I believed was perfect for me.

We’ve been dating for 5 months now, and everything seemed great! She is everything I looked for in a girl. Finally I found someone… She lives about 2hours away. We use to be able to see one another 2-3 times a week half way ( In Manhattan ). She recently started school which limits us to seeing one another once a week for a few hours. I never had a problem with the distance..

I woke up today… and everything I felt about her is gone, It literally feels like I am devoid of emotion towards her. I’m afraid, because I don’t know what to do, I’m confused, because I don’t know where it came from, and lastly I feel awful because she doesn’t deserve this.. she did noting wrong.

Like I stated before I honestly don’t know what to do in this situation… Thanks for reading.

[Sophie]

So you woke up, felt nothing, and made this post? If so, I’d give it more time than that. Play it out, see how it goes before making any quick decisions. I’ve experienced this before and sometimes it’s stress related, sometimes I’m just having an off day, etc.. If, after more time has passed, you still don’t feel anything for her, the relationship has probably run its course.

[Anonymous]

You should be honest with her. She will cry and fell like it was her but try to reassure her its not. it maybe that since your not seeing each other as much and you are not use to being on your own it has changed your feels. If you were to see he 3 times a week do you think your feels would change? Do you feel like your friends instead?

[Anonymous]

[quote]So you woke up, felt nothing, and made this post? If so, I’d give it more time than that. Play it out, see how it goes before making any quick decisions. I’ve experienced this before and sometimes it’s stress related, sometimes I’m just having an off day, etc.. If, after more time has passed, you still don’t feel anything for her, the relationship has probably run its course.[/quote]

Yeah that’s true.. I was just really afraid, I never felt like that about anyone before and the fact its the girl I was crazy about the day before made it worst. I’m going to try the relationship out for a few weeks to see if anything changes, hopefully for the better.

[quote]You should be honest with her. She will cry and fell like it was her but try to reassure her its not. it maybe that since your not seeing each other as much and you are not use to being on your own it has changed your feels. If you were to see he 3 times a week do you think your feels would change? Do you feel like your friends instead?[/quote]

Part of me thinks it would change if I was able to see her 3 times a week and part of me thinks it wouldn’t. I still see her as a perfect girl for me which doesn’t add up to why I feel like this.. I feel slightly better today, yesterday I was a mess.

Thanks for both of your responses 🙂 Really appreciate the advice, If something changes I will be sure to post.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I like Sophie’s advice that you should give it some time. All relationships go through ups and downs — imagine a 30 year marriage! Nobody feels ecstatic and in love every moment of every day of every year. See what it’s like for you to ride this out for a few more weeks.

What you may find is that what you’re looking for in a relationship is companionship, sex, romance, partnership and more or less in different amounts on different days and in different ratios. What you need to watch out for is needing that high that comes from the first blush of any new love. If that’s ALL you want, you’re going to sabotage your relationships, bouncing from one to another. Accept the nature of long term relationships — that that ecstasy of fresh, new love naturally fades into mature love where couples decide to be together because of respect, compatibility and love that is more than just that high that comes and goes.

I hope that helps.

[Member]

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