[MC468ci]

Background on our relationship, we have been talking since June and didn’t start officially dating until august. I had a short history of anabolic steroid use and she does not want to be with someone who uses. I agreed to stop the use. One in particular causes extreme anxiety which I had explained to her and which explained my clingy and paranoid behavior. One night she slept over and I noticed a guy had snapchatted her but she didn’t open it since I’m guessing I was around. When she fell asleep I looked in her phone without her permission. We argued about it and I told her my behavior wasn’t acceptable and I apologized and told her it would not happen again.

We continued dating after but my anxiety got the best if me last week and I had made a comment about a friend of mine from years ago who she had liked before and that’s when she told me she needed space. This past Saturday she told me she wants to be just friends for now and start over, she wants to see for herself if me being off the steroids was the guy I claim to be without the anxiety, which I am.

I had drank most of Saturday night and asked being anxious asked again if that meant she was giving me another chance. That’s when she flipped out and told me how I don’t own her and all I’m worried about is being exclusive and such. She also has my Facebook password and read my conversation with a male friend of mine. I was asking for advice from him and she didn’t like what he had to say and told me I was pathetic and to get out of her life and she’s done.

I feel like at this point it may be too late but she and I both have told each other we loved each other, we connect on such a deep level, and the time we spend together is always amazing. We both have many common I terests and we both expressed seeing a future together.

What can I do at this point? Please advise. I really do love this woman, were both 25 and work full time and have our own places, so its not like we’re financially dependent on each other. Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it — you met her in June and started dating in August. So it’s been about 2 months of dating, only there have been some problems that seem to be related to anxiety you have, and she broke up with you as a result. 😳

It sounds like it would be a good idea for you to get a handle on your anxiety issues…. I’m not sure what causes them, but you’ve mentioned anabolic steroids — I’m not familiar with their use, so fill me in a little, specifically about why a 25 year old guy would use them short term, what they do, etc. — and drinking as possible triggers. Also, it’s good to know that being anxious is one thing, but acting on it is a separate thing. You can have your feelings, but you don’t have to act on them. This requires discipline, but it may help you. In other words, when you’re feeling needy, recognize that, but don’t act on it. 😉 So next time someone has a cell phone message that you suspect is interesting or upsetting, don’t sneak into their phone, just because you’re anxious. Find another outlet for the anxiety. 🙂

As for your Facebook password, change it! There’s no reason for you to give that to someone you’ve only dated for a couple of months. 😕 And even if you’ve dated for 12 years, it’s still a good idea to have some privacy in parts of your life, like your social media accounts.

Once you’ve got a little space — which I think she wanted, and you can benefit from, too, you can ask her out on a date again — maybe in three months from now, and see if things are a little better for you in the anxiety department. 🙂

Let me know if you have any other questions, or want to talk about this further. And if you get a chance, check in and let me know how things go.

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