[lucy1214]

I have been in an exclusive relationship for one year. I have recently told him that I was in love with him. He said he did not feel the same right now, but said I was not wasting my time. He also stated that it took him a couple of years to feel that way with his ex-wife. The divorced due to the fact she cheated on him with two different men.

I have given him every opportunity to get out of the relationship, because we have not been intimate since I have told him that I loved him. He says he does not want out or see anyone else. We pretty much spend 90% of the week together.

I dont know if he has been so hurt by her that he wont get close to me or is testing me to make sure that is truly what I feel.

He has also serverd in the first gulf war and does have a problem with erectile dysfunction.

I really like and love him as a person. He has been himself from the get go with me, no hiding anything. I absoulutely love that part about him. Not to mention he is fun to be with. He is what I have always been waiting for.

I do not know what to do. I do know I dont want to give up or let go.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[lucy1214]

I am 49 and he is 44. We are both physically fit, work out all the time together and he runs marathons, so we are not out of shape and neither of us look our age.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure why you mentioned erectile dysfunction and his having served in the Gulf War in the same sentence unless you think there’s a connection between the two, and if so, my advice is to have him see a physician for a physical exam, blood tests and an honest conversation about the situation. If he’s got a hormonal problem or some other problem that a doctor can address, he may also be depressed and this is affecting his interest in moving forward in the relationship with you.

Since you’re both marathon runners and fitness-minded, maybe you can go together for a pair of annual physicals and ask him to talk to his physician about the e.d. problem.

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