[Anonymous]

Hi I am so confused right now. Been with my bf for 12 yrs and these past few months I feel like there is other people that he might be interested in. Lately he’s been always going to the same dunkin donuts down the street from me to get coffee like 4-5 times a day and when he’s on the phone with his friends he makes little comments that is starting to make me think he’s interested in someone else. well yesterday he came by my house and i told him i had to go to the store which is right near the dunkin donuts he’s been going to everyday and he said oh i’ll meet you down there so when i got to the store he wasn’t there and i was looking for him but couldn’t find him so then i went into the store and when i came back out he was in the car but it seemed like he waited to get in the car until someone parked on the side of my car. so then on the way to bring him home someone beeped and he was like who was that and i said joking around oh your girlfriend and he was like which one and i was like the one from dunkin donuts. he was like yeah whatever so then that made me start to think even more. so i said to him so what were you trying to say when you said which girlfriend. he was like i told you that if you didn’t start changing things in this relationship that i’d start finding someone who was willing to be with me. he gets upset because i live in housing and he can’t be on the lease because of some legal trouble he was in a few years ago. so he gets mad when he wants to stay here every night and i tell him he can’t sleep or live with me. so i said are you trying to tell me that you’re interested in someone else and he was like actually there are a couple of people i’m interested in. i was like oh and i just dropped him off. i told him before i dropped him off that if he thinks i’m going to stay with him while he’s interested in other people that he’s crazy. he said then you need to start doing something about our relationship. the reason i’m confused is because i’m not sure if he’s saying this so that i’ll supposedly start working on our relationship or if he really is interested in someone else. not sure if i should end it with him and let him pursue these other people and if we’re meant for each other then it will work itself out or if i should try working on our relationship. he doesn’t even have a job and he still lives at home with his parents and he’s 36 yrs old. some advice please

[Ask April Masini]

Your boyfriend of 12 years is a loser. He’s 36, has no job, lives with his parents, is pressuring you to put him on your lease, and wants you to put him up so he can start inadvertently living with you. Then to kick it over the top, he’s interested in other women, and is threatening you to shape up or he’ll ship out! That’s not a winner by my definition. That’s a guy you can do better than. 🙁

You deserve a guy who has his life together and is ready to be in a mature relationship with you! You really shouldn’t have to hear your boyfriend threaten you to shape up or he’s going to start dating one of a number of women he’s already scoped out and is interested in. That’s just bad manners and designed to make you feel badly.

I’d like you to look at reality, and see who this guy really is, and how he treats you. That should cure your confusion! 🙄 Next, I’d like you to get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. If you read this book, you’ll find out how to get the guy who IS Mr. Right, and not waste 12 more years — or even 12 minutes — with someone who’s, well, wasting your time.

[Author]

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