[Anonymous]

At 3 am ( after picking me up on the airport) on Sunday morning, my boyfriend of one year told me that we needed to break up. He said he needed space and was not feeling like he used to about me. He told me that he would always love me, that I was his best friend, that he would always be there for me and did not want me out of his life. We are both young, I am 23 and he is 21 and I was his first serious relationship. He also told me that he wanted to see where time takes us and maybe we can see over time if those feelings come back. He said that he needed about 2 months, until the middle of May, and wanted to work on being friends for now and see what happens. He told me that he hoped that his feelings for me would come back but wasn’t sure if they would or not. I asked him how long he had been feeling this way and he said couple of weeks to a month but wasn’t really sure if he was just having a bad week or not and didn’t wanna end things without being sure. We have had a very special relationship and have been very close over the past year. Although we are very different people I always have a blast with him. There have been times where we would bicker a lot over small stupid things, but other than that we have been very happy. I mean two weeks before breaking up we were talking about moving in together shortly after I graduate from college and then taking a cruise together next summer. He stayed until Sunday afternoon and since then he has been texting and calling me. He also asked me if he could come down to my apartment on Saturday to hang out and spend time with me. I don’t know what to do. Is this a lost cause? Do I have Hope? He is a very special person to be and I can truly say that I love him with everything that I am and just want us to be happy again. He is a very important part of my life and I want him back as my boyfriend. Please Help!!

[Ask April Masini]

Since he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend any more, after dating for a year, it’s time for you to move on. You deserve more out of life — and men. If you take him up on his offer of friendship, you’re selling yourself short and you’re going to make it more difficult to move on. You may also subject yourself to seeing him dating other women all the while befriending you. Yuck. 😳

Enjoy the memories of the relationship you had, but make this break a clean one. If after a year or two he still wants to be friends, and so do you, then you can meet for coffee and rehash your lives together, but for now, give both of yourselves the space to grieve the break, heal from the loss and move on in your own separate directions.

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