[Anonymous]

ok to start off, if you ever watched desperate housewifes the new series with bree, well my life seems to be pretty close to hers right now. i have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, he was my first for everything. i finished it a couple of months ago, because i wanted to start seeing other people and we were arguing a lot, but about 2 days after i couldnt stop missing him, because im so in love with him, so took him back, but over this whole time iv been seeing this other man, and he is lovely, its all new and so exciting, i would love to be with him, but i can’t be with both of them. i need to figure out what to do, before someone finds out what im doing and i lose both of these amazing guys. i’m so so stuck on what to do, because i don’t know if i’m ready to lose the love of my life forever. i’v also been told i like the male attention? which i think i actually do, i don’t know if this is to do with any of it. please help me on what to do, because i’m getting so stressed about it. and any advice would be helpful thankyou 🙂 x

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You didn’t tell me your age, which would have helped a lot, so I’m going to guess you’re in your 20s. Since you’re not married, and it doesn’t sound like you want to be, what you need to understand is that you are not ready to commit to one person right now. You really want to experiment and date the field. There is nothing wrong with that — unless you’re in denial. 😳

The difference between you and the Desperate Housewives character, Bree, is that she was married and wanting to divorce when she started pursuing relationships with other men. You’re not married, so you’re really not constrained, and I think you’re making up artificial boundaries for yourself to create drama. This creation of drama is in line with your friend’s comment that you like male attention. Drama begets attention, and I think this is your way of satisfying your need for that attention.

I know you think that your boyfriend of four years, who is also your recent ex-boyfriend, is the love of your life, but frankly, if he was, you wouldn’t have the urge to date this other guy the way you do. In fact, I think you have the urge to date more than just this other guy. That you’ve only really been with one man for four years, until this new guy, makes me even more sure that you want to gather some dating experience. I think your goals of having one boyfriend right now aren’t in sync with what you really, deep down want.

Consider slowing down both relationships and relegating them to just dating and allowing yourself to play the field — with all the risks that come with it — because right now, that’s what you really want.

[Member]

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