[sminors24]

So years ago I met this girl at a conference for school. There was an instant connection between us and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers and kept in contact. I was very upfront and honest and admitted that I had feelings for her. However, she didn’t share them same feelings which I think was due to her trying to work her relationship out with her ex. So I took that and accepted but ended up cutting her out of my life. Now I was never rude to her or had any ill-will towards her we would wave if we saw each other but that was it. Years later we rekindled our friendship and are closer than ever. During this time feelings I thought were gone flooded back however she was in another relationship so I held it in until things didn’t work out. Now I admitted my feelings and she said “that time had passed” but technically I never had a time due to what she was dealing with. Now a year has passed since that moment and we are still close and now the dynamics of our relationship have changed. She’s the one who initiates when we speak everyday even when I clearly stop the conversation, she admits she wants to spend more time with me which we are working on due to our conflicting schedules. She tells me that she cares about me very deeply and that there is nobody in her life that brings what I do. She even admits that I am the standard when it comes to treating her right. Now she’s in a different relationship which personally I don’t think will last but I’m not waiting for her. But it’s to a point where I’m confused about her feelings. When I mentioned us being something more she becomes frustrated and angry because she says she is not “attracted” to me and because she does not have feelings for me now that it is impossible for them to come. But weeks ago she admitted that if she had been single she would have had sex with me randomly. So I’ve started to pull back with less conversation and hanging out. Then she became upset saying that I don’t care about her anymore. Now I understand she’s with someone now and I’m not trying to mess up her relationship but I’m confused about her feelings for me. What do you think?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can’t be friends with her. It doesn’t work, clearly. In fact, I always counsel people that men and women can’t be friends because one person always wants more than the other, and that creates confusion, miscommunication and heartache. My advice is that you cut contact with her and look for someone to date who is available and wants a real relationship with you, now! 😉

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