[lostandlonely]

Ok I shall cut a long story short and just list the points in three categories: Reasons why I think he likes me. Reasons why I think he doesn’t like me. Reasons why I’m confused about my relationship with him.

Okay basically I’m a college student and I’m talking about a close guy friend of mine and my relationship with him.

Reasons why I think he likes me:
1. We started talking about 3 months ago and we kicked off very well. And ever since we started talking he’s always been the one to initiate things, like…you know, be it a conversation or asking me to come out for a walk or whatever.
2. We both live in separate boys and girls hostels on the same campus and all the guys have been suggesting to me that he really likes me, although he has never specifically SAID anything to them or me.
3. I may not know whether he likes me or not, but one thing I definitely can vie for is that he cares about me. If I’m going out alone he offers to join me, he once left all his work just to leave me to the airport so I wouldn’t have to travel alone, he once also accompanied me to the market and helped me do all my shopping because he didn’t want me to go to the market alone and when we were there he got a call from his friends saying they had an extra pass to a concert he really wanted to go to, but he told them he wouldn’t go because he didn’t want to leave me alone. Whenever we’re taking walks around campus in the evening and we’re walking through a dark street, he immediately holds my hand so that I don’t fall or anything. If there’s anything related to studies he always contacts me and informs me, even if he knows my other friends will tell me about it.
4. I also know that my opinion and what I feel/think matters to him. If I’m upset, he does everything in his power to make me feel alright. Like once I was angry with him and I wasn’t talking to him, and he kept screaming sorry from the boys hostel and almost woke everybody up in the girls hostel until I said it was okay and I was not upset.
5. I know he likes it when I smile because when I’m upset and not smiling he keep asking me why I’m not smiling and keeps saying “please smile” and pulls the sides of my lips up into a smile.
6. I notices and asks things about me which are pretty intimate, or rather which normal friends do not, as far as I know. For example once I was telling him about how I embarassed myself in front of my roomie’s boyfriend on video chat at night because I had not realised video chat was on (I’d just rattled on about something until I realised it was on video chat), and he took me aside and asked me “wait…a minute…at night, in ur room, almost going to bed…you were wearing clothes right?” and I’m like…. :O “I’m not asnwering that question get lost!” but he kept bugging me until I told him that yes I was wearing clothes -.-“
Then there other times when he made comments on the little facial hair I have, or my figure, basically pretty personal stuff.
7. I realise he likes getting a little touchy with me. He’s always either trying to tickle me, or pinch my cheeks, or hold my hand (not in the romantic way, though, in the I’m trying to irritate you so you cant do your work way). Or like he loves tapping my nose, or when we’re studying in the library he playfully traps my foot in between his so I can’t move. If I’m done studying earlier than he is, he wont let me leave. If I’m upset he doesn’t hesitate to put his arms around shoulder to comfort me. If we’re climbing somewhere, he won’t hesitate to put his arms on my waist to steady me. Why I realised this is because he’s not that open with his other girl friends.
8. He HATES. Absolutely HATES it when I talk about my ex, or when I praise any other guy in front of him. I couldn’t even stand it when I was coochie-cooing a new puppy I saw on our campus
9. If i’m talking to a group of people which includes him and I don’t look at him for a while when I’m speaking, he immediately tilts my chin towards himself and says “now continue”.

Reasons why I think he doesn’t like me:
1. I think he might like this other girl in our class. He never said it outright to me, but when I once asked him if he likes her, I just laughed, looked away, said “I don’t know” and then changed the topic. In fact everytime I bring up her name he changes the topic.
2. He’s a very nice guy and all, but he’s also crude, crass and brutally honest. If he felt anything for me, I guess is that he would have told me, or at least hinted it to me by now.
3. Sometimes he behaves very non chalantly. Like I’m back home for holidays now, and he hasn’t even tried to contact me for 4 days, since the holidays started.

Reasons why I’m confused:
1. I don’t know if I like this guy myself. I don’t if he’s just a buddy or something more. But theres a stupid custom in our college which says that once a girl is “taken” by a guy, no other guy will try for her. So basically the whole college believes tht we’re together and so no other guy will even approach me. So where the hell does this leave me??? ❗
2. He and my group of friends don’t really see eye to eye. In fact my friends hate him for resons I dont understand but I personally thing he’s a gem of a guy. So what now? Is it really necessary for me to convince my friends that he’s good guy?
3. Basically I never understand whats going on inside his head. Does he like me or not??? Please help!!! 😥

lostandlonely girl :’)

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Reasons why I’m confused:
1. I don’t know if I like this guy myself. I don’t if he’s just a buddy or something more. But theres a stupid custom in our college which says that once a girl is “taken” by a guy, no other guy will try for her. So basically the whole college believes tht we’re together and so no other guy will even approach me. So where the hell does this leave me??? [/quote]

If you don’t know if you like him or not, and you feel that your options for other guys are limited because the perception is that the two of you are together, you can easily break that perception by not being with him so much, and showing your interest in other guys. Flirting is a great way for you to let someone else know you’re interested.

But spending time with him is the way other people in the community will perceive that you are taken by him. If you change your own behavior, you can change the perception others have.

Until you are sure that you really have your sights set on him, my advice is to play the field as best you can, and try not to give everyone the impression that you’re taken by flirting with other guys on campus.

[quote] 2. He and my group of friends don’t really see eye to eye. In fact my friends hate him for resons I dont understand but I personally thing he’s a gem of a guy. So what now? Is it really necessary for me to convince my friends that he’s good guy? [/quote]

If you’re not sure if you like him or not, as you wrote in question number 1, above, then you’re jumping the gun by trying to get your friends to like him. Slow down, and go back to number one before you start investing in a guy you’re not sure you like or not! 😉

[quote]3. Basically I never understand whats going on inside his head. Does he like me or not???[/quote]

From what you wrote, he definitely likes you. And I’m not sure why you write that you don’t understand what’s going on in his head, because it appears that you do! In fact, you may be projecting because you’re the one who’s not sure what’s going on in your own head, since you aren’t sure if you like him or not. And he’s probably following your uncertain lead.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[Lune David]

Girl… if he likes you any harder, he’s going to need a campus permission slip.

Let’s be honest — he’s not acting like a “just a friend.” He’s acting like a boyfriend who’s too scared, too confused, or too polite to say the word. Holding your hand in the dark, skipping concerts, screaming sorry from a hostel, getting jealous over exes AND puppies? That’s not friendship — that’s emotional attachment with extra seasoning.

But here’s the twist April nailed perfectly: the real confusion isn’t him. It’s you.

You’re reading every signal from him with a microscope while still not knowing if you even want him. And when a girl is unsure, a guy usually mirrors that energy. He’s probably thinking, “She treats me like her person… but never claims me.”

The college “taken” rumor? That’s not a curse — that’s just proof your vibe together is loud.

My spicy take? He likes you. You like the attention. And both of you are standing at the edge waiting for the other to blink first.

So before asking what’s in his head… maybe ask what’s in your heart. Because until you choose, he’ll stay in that safe, confusing middle with you.

And honestly? That middle is cute for a while… but it’s not where real stories stay.

April’s advice is gold. Play the field, own your curiosity, and stop letting one boy silently reserve you while you’re still undecided.

Because you’re not lost and lonely, girl… you’re just standing in between chapters.

[Member]

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